Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .


Monday, September 03, 2012

this entry brought to you by nine inch nails, "piggy"

Now listen. My 99th entry was a week ago, so this 100th entry is a week late. Which is weird, because I just did the past 100 without missing a single entry. Which is amazing! Because the previous 100 before this took me well over a year. So hey. I missed a week. Next time I'm going to try to get my 1900th entry prepped and ready well be posted-- on time. But I think not missing a single entry other than this one is a huge feat. And I've gotten into quite a groove! I actually had to cut like six entries from this best of that were hard to cut, and as it is, I'm still three over my usual twenty. So without further adieu, here's the best of the past 100. As usual, you can read the best of the previous 100 here.


When you're a young man looking at naked movies on HBO, sometimes you'll come across a pair of boobs that are so amazing you set them to memory. And, thanks to the Internet, sometimes you can find that exact pair of boobs on the Internet 16 years later. And sometimes, that pair of boobs can have a super inspiring story you've seen in a while.

I have a feeling when I'm old and have Alzheimer's, I'll still be fucking awesome.

Remember when you couldn't expose yourself to pop culture without someone making a joke about masturbating to Victoria's Secret? I hope you didn't actually try it, because you would be ashamed of yourself if you did.

I make list entries, where I make up a bunch of one-liners about a subject. I should say that not every list entry I did this past 100 made this best of. But the Summer 2012 one? Yeah, it was pretty good.

I'll bet you didn't know this, but foot fetishists really, really want to see your feet.

If your town is full of ninjas, there's only one thing you can do: hope an errant samurai happens through town, because if he does, he will take care of business.

Did you ever notice that Mormons tend seem to think everyone else is making fun of them for being Mormon? That's because we are. And they should get over it. Even if you don't live in America, you know you love reading facts about it, because this country is fascinating. 'Mericuh! Woo!

Do you remember what it was like the first time you beat the first Bowser castle in the first Mario, and you were told that the Princess was in another castle? Kind of a bummer, wasn't it?Well, how do you think that effected Mario?

I once made a joke about black guys having very few options to dress up as for Comic Con. Turns out if you're a girl, your options are even less.

You know all those Disney villains who captured the girl, and had her tied up, and were leering over her until the hero showed up and beat him up? Yeah, that guy was going to rape her.

All that Chick-Fil-A controversy is bad news for Chick-Fil-A, but fantastic news for every other evil, gay-hating company in the country.

So, one thing I want to know is, if Obama is coming for your guns, when the hell is he going to get around to doing it? I've got to imagine there's an alternate universe out there where Obama is doing just that, and realizes how utterly impractical that is.


I saw a blog from a young Catholic girl who was advising other young women not to post pictures on the Internet of themselves in a bikini. And despite her being Catholic, I actually agreed with her. Except on one particularly baffling point.

There was a teen mom who was high on pot and drunk and accidentally left her child on top of a car. And absolutely any other parent could have done this, even without the high and drunk part.

Did you ever notice that, gee willickers, black folks sure do name their kids weird things sometimes? Well, racists sure notice it as well.

I'm not an evolutionary biologist, but I think that there just might be as good a chance as aliens looking like humans than not.

I have several story ideas that are floating around in my head, and I decided to share a couple, just to get them out there, because I will never get around to writing them. They are excellent ideas, but I have yet to come up with cohesive, interesting story ideas with like, conflict and stuff. The first is a story about human beings sharing space on a ship in outer space with aliens, in order to learn more about them. The other is about a chemical weapon attack on America which is devastating, but somehow also heals the handicapped.

When The Dark Knight Rises opened, one of the worst mass shootings in our history-- and this is in a country that absolutely cannot stop getting mass shootings-- was done. I had a couple thoughts on it, one that was more a collection of initial, separate thoughts and one that was trying to make sense of exactly what was happening.

And a few days after that, I found a horrifying, completely irresponsible conspiracy theory that stated the government was behind the Batman shooting, which could not have pissed me off more. I responded to it in a three part series, first deconstructing the conspiracy theory itself, then explaining how ridiculous and utterly wrong it is to assume that Obama is going to take away your guns, and finally, wondered why people are never afraid of things that are actually happening.

My PE coach in the sixth grade tried an amazing thing: He let the nerds take over for field hockey. And it worked. Briefly.

We all understand that there are some limitations to free speech. How come otherwise reasonable people think there should be no limits to gun rights?

with love from CRS @ 4:23 PM 


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