Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .


Monday, August 06, 2012

this entry brought to you by nine inch nails, "1000000"

BENTONVILLE- Margery Reves, spokeswoman for the unspeakably evil big box retailer Walmart, announced today that they are completely in support of Chick-Fil-A, and hope that they continue getting the attention from the public that they deserve. Chick-Fil-A, she said, has been an excellent shield, taking all the hate ordinarily reserved for WalMart.

Said Reves, "We wish Chick-Fil-A all the luck in the world with the horrible things they've done, and that citizens of America continue to become more and more outraged at their deliberate and continued disregard for civil rights. Over the past two weeks with America's conscientious distracted, we've managed to close down many more mom-and-pop operations and small businesses that have been the backbone of the American economy, in order to put up two more of our heinous, soul-sucking, community destroying megastores. If Chick-Fil-A continues at this rate, we'll be able to open up a few more without protests telling us to get out of town, which is ordinarily a situation we cannot avoid."

The spokeswoman also said that Walmart is appreciative that Chick-Fil-A's disgusting efforts to keep down the rights of homosexuals has kept people from Googling their own deep history of anti-homosexual actions.

"We've had a hard-on for ruining the lives of gay people for ages," said the spokeswoman, "and have repeatedly donated money to organizations that have anti-homosexual agendas. It is for this reason that we thank Chick-Fil-A's idiot Man-Child owner, Dan Cathy, for being so wrapped up in the hateful rhetoric of his unreasonable religious beliefs for being so obvious and loud-mouthed about it. If we were in his place we would have continued to discriminate against specific members of our country in secret while publicly maintaining a line of 'We are an equal-opportunity company' to get past our criticisms, but we applaud Cathy's decision to not know when to keep his big dumb mouth shut."

"Hell," concluded Reves to reporters, "If we could, we'd stay closed on Sundays too, if it didn't affect our bottom line. A whole twenty-four hour period of not having to pay anyone for anything? Can you imagine the boner we have just thinking about the kind of shit Chick-Fil-A pulls? Good on them."

Margery Reves then ended the press conference by not looking any minority in the eye and assuming that a deaf person was mentally retarded.

with love from CRS @ 11:05 AM 


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