Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .


Monday, June 25, 2012

this entry brought to you by nine inch nails, "21 ghosts III"

LAKE OAKCASTER- The sleepy town of Lake Oakcaster, VA, has announced that it is now ninja-free, after a samurai spent a weekend in town.

"It was the strangest thing," says local Bed and Breakfast owner Clayton McCaoul. "This samurai just roams into town, asks if we know how to make Ramen noodles and Miso soup. Sets up for the night, has a meager breakfast, meditates under the tree in our front yard for three hours, then goes out and just starts killing ninjas."

McCaoul claims that no one in town even spoke to the unknown samurai about the ninjas. "We've had a persistent ninja problem here in Lake Oakcaster for nigh on two decades. Nobody talks about the ninjas, its been our town's little secret. Openly talking about our ninja problem is just bad for business, bad for morale, you know? But he just knew. Didn't judge any of us for it. Just went out and started killing them."

The town's ninja problem had been investigated several times throughout the past two decades, and while the occasional ninja had been dispatched here and there, the source of the ninjas had never been discovered. Locals say the errant samurai just had a knack for finding ninja hiding spaces and even destroyed nests the town never even knew about.

Homemaker Carlene Burpee says that the Samurai knocked on her door, asked politely if he could enter, removing his sandals at the door.

"I didn't even think I'd had ninjas in my house," says Burpee, "but he moved aside my armoire and found three of them. In our guest bedroom he found one between the wall and the bed. But the biggest surprise was when he went down into our basement, found that a wall was weak, and discovered a nest of thirty or forty of them. All this time I had no idea that not only did we have ninjas, this was a breeding ground for them."

After a weekend of bloodshed, disembowelment, and beheadings, the samurai thanked the town for the fine meal that was given to him, and wandered off toward the sunset.

"He didn't even give us a chance to pay him for his help," says Ashlee Samford, a resident. "Since he left, we haven't seen a single living ninja in the entire town, and for that, we can be thankful. We don't have to have this town-wide embarrassment anymore of ninja attacks and assassinations. Hopefully, the local economy can grow because of it."

Added Samford, "Of course, even two weeks after having removed the corpses from our houses and streets, we're still finding appendages and heads behind surprising places, and the blood stains are amazingly difficult to wash out, so all that money we would have given him has gone directly to the clean-up effort."

with love from CRS @ 1:39 PM 


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