Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

Modern Conspiracy Theorists Part Three: The Things You Should Actually Be Worried About

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

this entry brought to you by nirvana, "heart-shaped box"

this is the third entry about this subject, if you missed yesterday's entry, here to catch up.

A few years ago idiots started rumbling around that vaccines cause autism. Scientists said "That's IMPOSSIBLE. There is no way that could happen. You would have to eat 7 pounds of vaccine for 12 years in a row to get autism in a child." Doesn't matter. Morons go out there and refused to vaccinate their children. Their children! The most precious things in the world! However, science said "Hey, you know, there might be a link between cell phones and cancer." And nobody says a thing! Because how else will they be able to update Facebook about what they're eating? Take a picture on a normal camera? Psh!

When you Google "Cell phones cause cancer" the first hit you get? The frigging cancer society of America. When you Google "vaccines cause autism", you know the first hit you get? A website that currently has a headline that says the Batman massacre might be staged.

Why don't people base their conspiracy theories on things that are actually happening?

Here is a partial list, off the top of my head, that people actually believe about Barack Obama that are all untrue:

He's a Muslim. If he's a Muslim, he's an awful Muslim, because we've seen him eating hotdogs, and despite press being around him constantly, he's never once been pictured praying to Mecca during the five-- five! calls to prayer a day a devout Muslim observes.

He was born in Kenya. Because a Kenyan boy being born is vitally important for a Hawaiian newspaper to announce the birth of.

He is an extreme radical liberal who is trying to convert the country to socialism. Which is strange, because his health care plan is blatantly ripped off from Mitt Romney, his current Republican opponent.

He is bringing about Sharia law. Even though nobody knows what that actually means.

He is trying to take away your guns. Because, well.... you read yesterday's entry.

Here is a list of things off top of my head that Obama is actually doing, for realsies, verifiable facts, that I have yet to hear a single conspiracy theory about:

George Bush started a gigantic and gross freedom ignoring program of warrantless wiretapping, bloating Homeland Security many times over. Obama has continued that program and has made it even bigger. Obama might be spying on you. This is not a conspiracy theory, it is really happening. And if for a moment you think that they wouldn't be spying on you because they have no reason to, remember that if they wanted to spy on people because they had a reason to, they would get a warrant. Not using a warrant means they could be spying on you for literally no reason at all. America's right wing has such a huge boner for Obama coming after their second amendment rights, but never notices that their fourth amendment rights have been trampled for nearly a decade.

The right constantly screams that Obama lies! He lies! He's a liar! But all the things they then say he lied about are not actually true, or not actually lies. But here's an actual lie: At the beginning of his term, Obama said he would not raid or arrest the owners of legal Marijuana dispensaries in states that have voted to make medicinal use of it legal. He has then raided and arrested marijuana dispensaries more than Bush did.

Barack Obama has killed American citizens abroad because he declared them "enemy combatants". No capture, no trial, no jury, like every single American is constitutionally guaranteed. What defines an enemy combatant? How do I know these people were really bad people? And why is the world safer because an American citizen was killed without a jury? How are we safer that an "enemy combatant" didn't have trial by jury, but the Nazis did?

Guantanamo Bay is still open. They say they're not torturing anyone, but how do we know? The place they used to torture people is still open, and all those people they tortured there are still there. There's no oversight, there's no accountability. And I don't need to mention that torture is a fucking war crime.

We don't have haebeas corpus anymore. Google that to understand why that's fucked up and should be talked about every fucking day on the news.

Here is a conspiracy theory for you: Obama has found out about your weed because he wiretapped you, will raid and arrest you, declare you an enemy combatant and throw you in Guantanamo without trial, and maybe torture you without anyone knowing.

That conspiracy theory is actually based on real things. But your Grandfather and your aunt and your asshole coworker would rather obsess over hole-filled, convoluted attack on their "rights" that doesn't actually make any sense, instead of connecting far-fetched dots that start from something that, in all actuality, is something people really ought to be concerned with.

with love from CRS @ 11:43 AM 


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