CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

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1100th Entry! Best of the past 100!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

this entry brought to you by marilyn manson, "great big white world"


On my 1,000th entry, I said that I'd missed a bunch of entries, and that I hoped to correct that with the next 100-- this 100, I don't think I skipped a single one. Yay for me! Also, political season brings out the best in me: when I went to go through the last 100 to pick out the best 20, I ended up with way more than 20 and had to shave a few off. Still, that just means the remaining 20 are really good, and are definitely worth your time. As always, here is a link to the previous best 100.


FUNNY/RANDOM

 Listen, I have a positive attitude about dildos. I don't find them threatening at all. But there's a certain line you go past where it's just fucking weird.

The Dark Knight was almost universally loved by moviegoers. Except one weird homophobic guy who just couldn't get over his asshole ideals.

Thank God we didn't have to see this in real life, because Obama won the election. But if he hadn't, the news would've been exactly like that.

See below for some asshole's idiotic "rules to being a Democrat." For some real rules on being a Democrat, that are actually true, you'll want to click here.

Obama sure hasn't done much in office yet. Which is probably because he isn't in office. But that doesn't stop some people from being disappointed in him. A friend of mine read this entry and told me it wasn't funny because it was true. That doesn't stop it from being hilarious.

No, Superman's Fortress of Solitude doesn't run on Windows.But Krypton doesn't really have an equivalent to Macintosh.

I generally think of these parody headline entries months in advance, and I thought this one up more than two years ago. Then the Large Hardon Collider was turned on, and I suddenly thought, now is the time to write my entry about The World Religion Entertainment. For the record, this is one of my proudest humor entries, up there with my best overall.

Whatever Merriam Webster actually decides to name as the word of the year, it won't be better thanphew.

There's a saying that goes, you should never meet your heroes. A variation of that: You should never have sex with your dream girls. Going back in time to do that will just exacerbate the problem.

I'd actually thought of this joke about a month ago, thinking it would be hilarious if the producers of the current Batman franchise thought, you know, these Batman films are popular, let's fuck up the third one, like they did with Tim Burton's Batman films. Then that rumor about Eddie Murphy playing The Riddler got out, and I thought, hm, perhaps now is the time to post it.


SERIOUS/ TOPICAL

 I'm sick of how the anti-abortion movement always uses Jesus as their argument. This doesn't do them any good.

I knew a girl, young and pretty. Then she disappeared. I saw her again two years later with child. And a whole pile of depressing.

I know a few people who only vote for presidents who are against abortions, and they care about no other issue. Single issue voting is always a bad idea.

John McCain didn't just run a doomed campaign, he ran easily the most cynical campaign in a long time, and didn't seem to be in control of it. Obama didn't just handily won, he halted the monster McCain had unveiled.

Have you ever been a black man in middle America? Even if there for just a few days, it's fucking scary.

Some jackass right winger posted a list sardonically titled "Rules for Being a Democrat", and it was meant to point out hypocritical left wingers are. Except they were all wrong, and didn't have an ounce of truth in any of them. Somehow, though, it was a great joy to rebuke all of them

Barack Obama won the 44th Presidency. I don't know about you, but I love hearing about people's feelings of joy about the election. This one is mine.

Have you seen Gone Baby Gone? When you saw that movie, it made you ask the question, god, what would you do in that situation, didn't it? Have you ever known a person that would make you ask that question in real life?

This may seem simple, maybe even cheesy, but I was completely blown away after looking deeply into the eyes of a gorilla at a zoo.

I knew two guys who used to be best friends in high school. What split them up? Porno. Why would anyone show a porno to friends if they weren't intending on masturbating?


I'd intended on having three more reviews for you during this 100, but they're going to have to wait. Instead, here are reviews for There Will Be Blood, and The Dark Knight. Believe it or not, I didn't like There Will Be Blood as much as you might think.
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with love from CRS @ 7:49 AM 

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