CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

ARCHIVES!
1000th Entry! Best of the Past 100!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

this entry brought to you by dogs die in hot cars, "godhopping"


I have missed way, way too many entries in the past 100. But I promise I'm going to do my best to get back on schedule. Because entries is what I do best. That, and having sex with the ladies.

Right. So this is my 1000th entry. I am probably going to do a top 20 of all time at some point. But this is the longest I've managed to take a blog without the server I run the blog on going out forever, which I think is really impressive for a blog that is daily, and occasionally misses a week or something. Anyway. For now, here's the best of the past 100. As usual, you can see the best of the last 100 here.


FUNNY/RANDOM

 I don't remember exactly what made me this joke jump to mind, but I had this idea of a bum stealing things from people that they wouldn't notice gone, then I thought of a squatter stealing electricity, then I thought a squatter snob only stealing the best electricity was a really, really funny idea.

I had already complained earlier about people who say they like all kinds of music, but when I ran into a guy at work who said it, it made me think, you know, I really need to send that message home, to make sure this phenomenon stops as soon as possible.

This entry starts of really funny and ends off kind of serious, but I still put it on "the funny" because I would use the top 2/3rds as a stand-up routine. Behold: ANAL SEX IS AWFUL.

I actually had this idea for a long time, that exfoliating soap should be advertised differently to get men's attention. And then one day, a whole commercial jumped to mind.

What's it like being a father? Why, I have totally true anecdotes for you to enjoy for Father's day.

 I was talking to my wife, and I mentioned a hilarious abortion joke on Family Guy. My wife told me that abortion jokes weren't funny. Which itself seemed like a great punchline.

My daughter has gotten to the age where she just makes up jokes, and the problem is, they're not really all that funny. Not really.

Call it morbid curiosity, but there are certain things that I absolutely never will do because they're too dangerous, but I kind of want to do them anyway. Who wouldn't?
I am very uncomfortable with this joke, but I couldn't resist it. I keep hearing people-- black people, mostly-- worried that Obama is going to get assassinated. And I thought about it, and I realized, other than completely thorough security at all times, which he totally has, there's only one thing Obama could do to avoid assassination.

Remember your best friend's little sister? Remember how much you wanted to do her? Yup. I sure do. Actually, I have a specific best friend's little sister that I was thinking of when I wrote this, and I wonder if I should send her this link. Hmmm.


SERIOUS/ TOPICAL

 This one might be a little specific about video games for people, but I thought I wrote it in such a way that anybody with a general knowledge of games could enjoy it. What about the way we play our games does that say about us as people?

Why in the world would the Catholic Church care so damned much about where you use birth control or not? It's not hard to figure out, and it really doesn't have anything to do with Jesus.

This is a really important one. I was touched by a child molester. On the shoulder. Briefly. But he was really a child molester.

Teenagers of all age piss me off, but I got anecdotal evidence that teenagers of today piss me off a lot more than when I was a teen.

I was thinking about global warming, and the whole idea really depressed me. What if we pick the wrong solution? I have a big vocabulary. I use it. This irritates people. Why in the world would somebody specifically want me to talk down to them and treat them like idiots, just because I assume they won't understand a word?

I grew up in El Paso, TX, and when you grow up in a city, you assume things are the same everywhere, especially in school. It turns out grading wildly fluctuates from school district to school district.

I gave a girl I knew in high school a unicorn broach, and got a very interesting set of reactions.

. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has wondered this: Why in the world is it that gay women fall for women that tend to exhibit the least female qualities, and gay men tend to fall for guys that exhibit the least male qualities?

I don't know if you've ever experienced a sexy OBGYN visit, but I recommend that you do.


REVIEWS

I didn't get many reviews done in the past 100, but still, here are reviews for Portishead's Third, the movie No Country For Old Men, and Nine Inch Nails' The Slip. Enjoy, if reviews are your thing. And they're probably not.
-----



with love from CRS @ 5:28 PM 

0 Comments:

Post a Comment