CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

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The Fortress of Solitude Holographic Dad System

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

this entry brought to you by jon spencer blues explosion, "torture"



Greetings, Kal-El. I am Jor-El, your Father. I have died many years before now. This is a special holographic program that I designed so that you can learn more about where you came from. It is the only way I could think of for me to be with you, at least in spirit. Please, ask me anything that you like, and I will answer.


...Father? My real name is Kal-El?


Greetings, Kal-El. I am Jor-El, your Father. I have died many years before now. This is a special holographic program that I designed so that you can learn more about where you came from. It is the only way I could think of for me to be with you, at least in spirit. Please, ask me anything that you like.


Uhm. Hm. You already said that. Okay. Well, Father, this is amazing. I'm so-- I'm overcome with emotion. I've always wanted to know where I'm from, I've always felt so alien. All my life I have been wanting answers, and it's so-- so amazing to finally look into the eyes of my father and get them.


Kal-El, could you please ask that in the form of a question?


Oh. Uhm. ...Where am I from, then?


You are from the planet Krypton, which is a planet many galaxies away, and has long since ceased to exist. I managed to send you onto a space ship moments before our planet extinguished, so that you could survive. You are the last son of Krypton.


Oh my god. My whole planet, destroyed... I'm the only one of my kind left... This is absolutely astonishing. Father, did you send me to the planet Earth on purpose, or was it an accident that I ended up here? And if I was sent here, was I sent here for a reason? Do I have a purpose here on earth?


SYNTAX ERROR.


..What the hell?


Greetings, Kal-El. I am Jor-El, your Father. I have died many years before--


--Yes, yes, I got that. Okay let me try rephrasing my question. Was I sent to Earth to protect the human people who have accepted me as one of their own?


Kal-El, you have been given great powers, far beyond the abilities of mortal men. You must use them for the powers of good, and to spread tolerance.


...Yes, but you didn't exactly answer the question I asked.


BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME.


Well. Let me ask this, then. The people here have begun calling me Superman. I don't know what I think of this. If I call myself Superman, does that sound arrogant, or does it sound good?


Many results for Superman found. Try narrowing your query. Did you mean Super-Man?


No, with no hyphen. Superman.


Kal-El, you must use your ab--




...Yes?






Shit. Control-Alt-Delete.




I said Control-Alt-Delete, goddammit!




...Control-Alt--


This will reset your Fortress of Solitude Holographic Dad System, and any unsaved data will be lost! Really resest?


Yes!




...I probably should have seen that coming.
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with love from CRS @ 10:00 AM 

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