CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

ARCHIVES!
REASONS TO BE THANKFUL 2011!

Sunday, December 11, 2011

this entry brought to you by primal scream, "swastika eyes"


Generally speaking, every year at Thanksgiving, I write a list of things that we should be thankful for. This year, I wrote absolutely nothing on Thanksgiving day, nor any of the days leading up to it or after it. But just because this is late doesn't mean you can't be thankful for stuff. Stuff like the following:


Scarlett Johansson's left breast. God bless America.

The world just passed its 7 billionth birth. While this might not sound good for the planet, when it comes down to it, that means more Soylent Green for you when shit goes real bad.

The economic inequality in America is catastrophic, not fucking catastrophic. *

If you're Native, you can hate the white man for Thanksgiving and Christmas if you think about it, so you've got yourself a twofer.

Black Friday deals started at Midnight this year, so you could Black Friday all night with crowds of strangers, emerging from the building exhausted and disoriented from a lack of sleep and utterly exhausted like a guilty alcoholic, the sun blinding you, allowing you to wonder exactly how the hell things got to this.

The Walking Dead season two. I hope this show lasts twenty years. Even if all the current cast is dead and replaced by another cast eight times over, I want an ongoing human drama with zombies in it. Also, one would hope, with Scarlett Johansson's boob making a guest appearance during sweeps.

Emma Stone has not started hanging out with Lindsay Lohan or that ilk.

For that matter, neither has Emma Watson.

The world didn't end twice like that asshole pastor said during the last year, so that's good. Even if you really really want the world to end, you should still be thankful of this because at least you have one more year to get your shit together.

No matter how bad the economy gets, your local electric company can afford to sponsor an entire neighborhood in your city with the power for insane Christmas light decorations. So when you're selling blood to keep the electricity on this holiday, remember, you're just a ride through that community away from being filled with Christmas Cheer.

We live in an era where if a relative says something nasty to you during family get-togethers, you can hold back your tongue, make a few fake Facebook accounts when you get home, and harass them until they commit suicide.

Amazon has so many great cyber deals, you can do all your shopping and never stop masturbating. Well, for that matter, you could be masturbating while enduring the crowds at your favorite retail outlet, but everyone will be too busy punching each other in the throat for HDTVs to give a shit.
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 *you bet your ass I'll use this joke from the last year's entry!
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with love from CRS @ 6:58 AM 

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