CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN THE YEAR 2011

Friday, December 31, 2010

this entry brought to you by guitar vader, "i love love you"

here are some of the things you should have been looking forward during 2010. most of them still apply, so if this list isn't enough, you've got more. happy?


That baby will finally arrive in 2011. Not pregnant yet? That'll change. Just remember to name it Chris, okay?

There will be another natural disaster, and it'll be fucking spectacular.

There will be an international televised sport game. Less than half of the country will be rooting for one team, more than half will be rooting for the other. One of them will win the most objectives over the course of the game, thus winning the match overall. A man that participated in the sport game will give an interview saying inane things about trying hard and perseverance. The next day, some people across the country will be disappointed at the outcome, some will be elated, depending on which team they were rooting for. None of this, ultimately, will matter.

By 2012, fish without that oil slick flavor will taste funny.

If Glenn Beck got through 2010 without bursting into flames out of sheer insanity, it will happen sooner or later. 2011's as good a year as any.

Sarah Palin will announce she's running for President. Finally, you will have a valid excuse for calling out sick from work for an entire year.

The economy will come back and completely flourish in 2011, before crashing horrifically at the end of the year, because the people who run Wall Street are the worst people on the planet. I'm not expressly advocating that you kill them now, I'm just saying it wouldn't hurt if anybody did.

2011 will be the most complicated to pronounce year of the century until 2017 arrives. Try it right now. Twen-tee Ee-lev-en. Now compare it to Twen-tee Tehn. Get used to all those accumulated wasted seconds.

Some 17 year old starlet will turn 18, so your creepy coworker who talks about how he can't wait for her to turn 18 can be slightly less creepy. But still creepy enough that if he got caught buying little girls' panties you wouldn't be surprised.

This will be the year that you will start using the c-word more often. Well, I mean, I won't, because it's fucking rude.

Something something zombie Holocaust joke.

In 2011, the rabbit will finally finally get some of that delicious Trix! ...Wait, you mean he already got some Trix? It was a whole campaign back in 1990 where kids could vote in and decide if he would or not, and, with an overwhelming majority, they voted that he should, and he did? Well then fuck 'im.

Fat bottomed girls will continue to make the world go 'round.

The job occupation most likely to get you laid will be Teacher With Curious And Eager to Learn Students Who Look Suspiciously Old To Be In High School, which will finally knock Lucky Pizza Delivery Boy off the top. Perennial favorites Pool boy and Sexy Cable Guy will round out the top four, with IT Guy Forced to Work Late Because Incredibly Hot Temp Is Having Problems With the Database making a surprise debut in the top 5.
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with love from CRS @ 7:00 PM 

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