CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN THE YEAR 2010

Saturday, January 02, 2010

this entry brought to you by tool, "rosetta stoned"


2010 is the year of the tiger. I don't know what the hell that's supposed to mean, but it still counts for something, right?

You have two more years to hunt down those who wronged you and systematically destroy their lives and all that they hold dear before the world ends, according to the Mayan Calendar. Or only one year if you listen to this guy. Still, if you can't hunt down your enemies and plan their demise in a full year, then you really don't deserve to.

Technically it's been around since November, but you can go ahead and count 2010 as the year the McRib returned until it goes on hiatus again.

No matter how disappointing Obama will ultimately end up being, we have three more years of this relative prosperity before the conservatives take over again in 2012, all fired up because they're racist idiots who vote against their own interests, and the liberals are all disillusioned and won't vote in a national election ever again because every time they win they learn their guy isn't worth a damn once he gets in office. So until then, enjoy yourself.

The kids will continue listen to shitty music and watch shitty movies in 2010, but you'll be easily able to find cool stuff that nobody's ever heard of, and people will think you are a better person than them because of it. Or at least you'll feel that way.

Sales were so low on Black Friday 2009 for HD TVs that you had to be an absolute idiot if you didn't pick one up. This year on Black Friday, HD TVs will be so cheap that you'll actually buy a few merely to donate the empty boxes for hobos to make furniture out of.

Your local zoo is probably planning on remodeling the Polar Bear exhibit on account of the last few remaining in the wild likely dying out during 2010. Buy tickets early-- it's going to be awesome.

2010 is finally going to be the year you get your own day time talk show.

Although you will still be able to go into horrendous, life-crushing debt from credit cards and mortgage rates, once the health care bill gets signed, at least you won't get into debt because of medical insurance. Probably. And also, that doesn't go into action until 2014. But still.

If all else fails, breasts. We always have breasts to look forward to.
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with love from CRS @ 12:12 PM 

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