CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

ARCHIVES!
REASONS TO BE THANKFUL in 2009!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

this entry brought to you by nine inch nails, "reptile"

I did a list just like this last year, and thankfully, all the things mentioned in it are still true, so if you need even more reasons to be thankful, you can read more here. well, except the lindsay lohan one. that one's not true anymore.


* Obama hasn't been assassinated yet. Last year at about this time, virtually everyone would say, as if they were the only people to say it, "It's great that Obama is President and all, but he's probably going to get assassinated." One year later and there have been crazies lined up at town hall meetings with machine guns, and nobody has taken a shot at him. Just three years to go to proove all these conspiratorial people fools.

* Health care is right about to be passed, so if you can just hang in there with that spinal cancer you were diagnosed with before you got a job that offered you insurance but were denied because it was a "pre-existing condition" for a few more weeks and you'll be fine.

* There's still one more year of Oprah left, so you have that much longer to prepare for your mom/wife/older sister's collapse when she finds herself with no idea what to do or think when Oprah calls it quits.

* Everyone you know has gotten swine flu, and yet nobody you know has died from it. On the downside, this means that while all the assholes out there who you would love to see go in a global epidemic are still alive, at least they have a pretty vicious cough.

* Nine Inch Nails has retired from touring, but Trent Reznor will still be making music under the name Nine Inch Nails. There is no joke here. It is just good news.

* The opinion of anyone you know who enjoys the Twilight movies and is over the age of 21 can be immediately disregarded no matter what the subject. This is a really handy barometer in this day and age of uncertainty.

* The opinion of anyone you know who likes Sarah Palin and is over the age of 12 years old can be immediately disregarded no matter what the subject. This is a really handy barometer in this day and age of uncertainty.

* Right wing lunacy has reached an astronomical pitch, and not yet a fucking astronomical pitch.*

* There odds of Glenn Beck having a complete and total meltdown is 1:1. It will happen soon, and it will be fucking sweet.

* Marissa Tomei survived the Celebrity Holocaust during the summer of '09, so there is a chance that we will be able to see her deliciously hot for a lady her age body one more time before she gets too old to be able to show it off. And by the way, when I say "for a lady her age", I mean Marissa Tomei has a hot body for a lady any age.
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 * I did this exact same joke three years in a row, and I look forward to doing it again next year.
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with love from CRS @ 6:20 AM 

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