bitterisataste . . . words and ramblings . . . v.6.0

Monday, May 28, 2007

this entry brought to you by bjork, "hidden place"

THE GOOD

Idiocracy Mike Judge envisions a future where basically the entire country is either Beavis or Butthead. Turns out that while science fiction writers always see a utopia where everyone is enlightened, the grim truth that Judge sees is humanity's stupidest multiplying in gross numbers and eventually drowning out any sort of intelligence in the gene pool because there are no predators to wipe out the idiots, which is what happens in nature. Fortunately, right before the human race starves to death from gross idiocy, Joe Bauers (Luke Wilson), accidentally winds up in the future and ends up being the smartest person on the planet by default, despite being of merely average intelligence. For the record, Judge's vision of the future isn't as clever as the dead-on Office Space; it seems that Judge took a drive through the worst of middle America and let his imagination run to its most extreme conclusion-- some of the jokes here aren't exactly difficult to see coming. The most popular show in the world is called "Ow My Balls!", and whenever fans meet the star on the street, they naturally kick him in the balls as hard as they can. So on an individual joke for joke basis, there's little here that you can't see coming-- what makes Idiocracy work is how thorough Judge is with every single detail being as idiotic as can be imaginable. Idiocracy is kind of like Beavis and Butthead mixed with Futurama, and Judge's version of low-brow humor has always been leagues better than essentially everyone else (most of whom were obviously influenced by him). Still, the clincher with Idiocracy is despite its fart jokes, hooker jokes, and stupid-guy jokes, if you go from the movie immediately to Myspace and do a little browsing outside of your friends list, or stroll through Wal-Mart on a weekend day, you'll quickly begin to believe that Idiocracy isn't just a funny low-brow comedy-- it's prophecy.

Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto, by Chuck Klosterman I've been a fan of Klosterman's ever since I read his columns in both Esquire and Spin (the latter of which, sadly, ended when the magazine switched owners recently-- sigh), and his book is exactly what I expected as a fan. Klosterman likes to search for the meaning of life, for explanations about himself, people around him, and people in general, by examining pop culture. Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs is a collection of essays about pop culture, and what all of it means. There are things that Klosterman is into that I'm not into-- for example, there's a whole chapter dedicated to defining every human being in the world as either being ultimately a Celtics fan, or a Lakers fan; there's another chapter that deeply examines how awesome Billy Joel is. But even when the subject matter would ordinarily make me gloss over, Klosterman makes his subjects interesting, and writes in such a snarky, enthusiastic, genuinely fascinated way that even these subjects are interesting. More to the point, the things that I can relate with are related in ways other people don't think of them. There are extended subjects about Saved By the Bell and The Real World that examine how basically everyone in the world fit the personalities of characters in those shows; about cereal mascots, and what they're really teaching our children; how Pamela Anderson is the modern day Marilyn Monroe, and why certain people absolutely can't stand this fact; and the relevancy of Guns N' Roses tribute bands, as well as a bunch of others. Klosterman is extremely witty, and his writing style wondrously light hearted (even when dwelling on dark subjects such as his fascination with serial killers), and what I really like about him is that he's entirely self-conscious-- he admits to being a horrid narcissist, yet he throws in as many references to pop culture as he feels, regardless of whether you get them-- and if you don't, it doesn't matter, because you'll eventually get something. The title is Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, which suggests a smorgasbord of witty Gen-X musings; this is exactly what you get.

Marilyn Manson on the cover of SPIN magazine For one thing, I've been a fan of Marilyn Manson's for years, even though, uh, I haven't bought either of his last two albums. Still, I'm a fan, and it's nice to see him on the cover of a magazine again, especially with such a striking image. Bonus: The accompanying article was pretty good. Super Duper Bonus: There was a great Q&A with Bjork!! Who is awesome!!

Will It Blend? One part commercial, one part fun-in-a-lab, Willitblend.com (be sure to watch the "unsafe for home" videos) is about this incredibly powerful blender made by a company called Blendtec that can blend, well, just about everything. And to prove it, on camera they blend a whole chicken with a whole can of soda, nails, a pile of cubic zirconium, light bulbs, an Ipod, a fucking crowbar, as well as a surprisingly gigantic list of other odd assorted things (favorite: glow sticks. It's obvious the blender can handle, but the awesome glow-in-the-dark shake it creates is grin inducing). It's mindless but it is oddly amusing, in a boys-will-be-boys kind of way. The host appears to be the girl next door's father, a friendly, do-no-wrong guy who reads the newspaper and enjoys Leno before he goes to bed, who obviously has never been in front of a camera before, yet has a cheesy, enthusiastic smile on his face as he blends things that ought not be blended, while it appears that like unholy horror is going on inside his blender.

The Penguin Pet That Goes Shopping I absolutely could not resist linking to this Youtube clip, which features a pet Emperor Penguin, living in Japan. The family puts on him a little backpack, and he waddles down the street to a local grocery store, gets fish for dinner (as well as a fish snack), and walks back home! This is absolutely amazing, not to mention adorable. I want a pet penguin now!!

THE BAD

Sleepers There's a part of pretty much everybody that wants to like a movie that has to do with deep, hard hitting issues. If you're watching a movie about the Holocaust that's poorly directed even though it's obvious the director really cares, it's easy to say "I liked that movie", even though if it were about any other subject, it would be a bad movie. This is the case with Sleepers, the 1996 film directed by Barry Levinson in which five boys are sent to juvenile hall for accidentally killing a man. In juvenile hall the boys are molested, raped, and tortured by a guard played by Kevin Bacon. The boys then grow up, two of them become the neighborhood's most notorious criminals, the other two become responsible citizens, including one played by Brad Pitt, who's character is now a respected lawyer. When the now grown-up criminals come across the guard who did such horrible things to them, they murder him, and it's up to the friends on the right side of the law to keep them out of jail and to also expose the things that happened so many years ago. This is some really heady stuff. Unfortunately, despite a grade A cast that includes Robert Di Nero as a mentoring street priest and Dustin Hoffman as a bumbling defense lawyer, it's directed with so much melodrama and cheese (check out the nearly hilarious shots of Bacon's laughing, mocking face in what ought to be horrifying flashback scenes-- it's not that Bacon couldn't do better, it's the fact that the most dramatic scenes are directed like cartoons). The continuing narration of the main character should be gripping and move the story along, but is so riddled with hard-boiled detective-sounding bullshit that it becomes a chore by the end of the movie. It's not that I didn't want to like Sleepers-- the story is gripping and there are moments of genuine suspense; unfortunately, there are also long stretches of time of boredom. Sleepers deserved a better execution than it was given.

The murder of director Adrienne Shelly A few years back, probably in about 1999, I watched a movie on Independent Film Channel called Sudden Manhattan. It was exactly what you would expect from an IFC movie-- it was weird to the gills, but it was quirky and very enjoyable. I often think of one scene in particular where a man is shot in the back in broad daylight-- and this exact same crime happens over and over again, in front of this girl's apartment, in the exact same fashion. Then I hear about this critically acclaimed movie that's about to come out called The Waitress, and it was directed by the same woman who directed Sudden Manhattan-- then I learn that the movie is being released posthumously, as Adrienne Shelly, the director, was murdered back in November. Obviously this would be a sad, tragic thing that would bother me no matter what when I heard about it, but what really unsettles me is that I've actually seen her work, and I actually liked it a good deal. I know this doesn't make her murder any different, but I can't get it out of my head.

Dane Cook ripping off Louis C.K. I'd heard in a few places that one of the reasons why Dane Cook is so derided amongst comedians is because he has ripped off jokes, specifically from comedian Louis C.K, who I love. I decided to give Dane Cook's Retaliation CD a try-- hey, I downloaded it for free, what harm could it do? It has two sides. On side one I was listening when a joke about watching a person get hit by a car came up, and I said-- ooh, yeah, that is definitely a Louis C.K. joke almost all the way through. Still, I thought, I want to give Dane Cook the benefit of the doubt. I'm not a particular fan but he does make me laugh several times through his routines, so I thought, you know, two creative people, similar senses of humor, they're going to come up with the same jokes. I myself felt like Dane Cook's bit about the Kool-Aid man was almost exactly like a joke I'd said a bunch of times about the Kool Aid Man, so it's going to happen. Then I go to the second CD, and he starts talking about wanting to name his kid a sound effect-- and I was like, alright, that's exactly another Louis C.K. joke. This is no longer a coincidence. Dane Cook has stolen jokes from Louis C.K. No doubt about it.

Mims, "This is Why I'm Hot" "This is why I'm hot. This is why I'm hot. I'm hot cuz I'm fly. You ain't cuz you not." I'm sorry, Mr. Mims, but this is a very poor argument at best. The points that you bring up lack reasoning or merit. Also, you fucking suck. I hope the investments you have made with your current adbundance of money have been much wiser than your shitty pop song would suggest someone of your intelligence would be, or else you're going to end up penniless and giving handjobs for crack money in three years flat.

The new headphone extension chord I bought 60 dollar headphones a while ago, which I love. But they're designed kind of weird. The set itself comes with a chord about a foot and a half long. But it came with a two foot "extension chord", which was supposed to be some sort of bonus. Except that what this "extension chord" did was take the too-short length of the actual set, and made it normal length. I suppose I'm happy they did this, despite how weird it initially seemed, because I accidentally bent the plug on the extension, so that the signal couldn't get through. I had to buy a replacement extension chord. Problem: I couldn't find anywhere that sold extension chords on-line less than 6 feet; most were 25 or 50. Look, I just need to be able to reach from my ears to my pocket! Why would Sony make a chord that was like this, but not make replacement extensions for when something goes wrong?
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on this day last year did you ever notice that people at concerts stop caring about that "personal bubble" most people go through their whole day being acutely aware of?
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with love from CRS @ 2:58 AM

Monday, May 28, 2007

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