CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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Concert Goers Are Fucking Ridiculous

Sunday, May 28, 2006

this entry brought to you by the yeah yeah yeahs, "honeybear"


People piss me off. I'm here at this concert early so I could find the perfect place. Yessiree. This is going to be awesome. I can see the stage really well, I can see the expressions on the roadies faces, I can tell when the band comes out I'm going to be reaaaaal happy. And yes, there they are. How fucking excellent. This is the coolest moment of my entire life. Well, the past few months anyway. But seriously, it doesn't get better than this. Yes, as soon as they came out everybody rushed forward, and now I'm about two inches away front of the girl in front of me, but I'm here, and man, the band sounds fucking unbelievable.

Shit, some assholes are squeezing their way up to me. Please don't try to stand in front of me. Please? Jesus. Of course you're going try to squeeze in front of me. Of course. Because beyond me there's no way you can get any closer. But you cannot get in front of me. You cannot. And I don't mean that as a threat, I mean it's physically impossible, so please don't even try. If you assholes wanted this badly as to struggle through thousands of fans obviously more dedicated than you, you would've fucking showed up when I did.

And there you go. There's no room to squeeze, yet there you go, trying to squeeze in front of me. See, here's what I don't get, pal. What sort of human being sacrifices personal security for a couple feet closer at a rock concert? Because that bulge in your asscrack? Yeah, that's me. I'm having anal sex with you, buddy, and I don't even want to. How are you cool with that? We now have an intimate relationship with one another and I don't know your name. At least you're wearing High Endurance so you smell good. How thoughtful of you.

And as your little girlfriend is squeezed right next to you, my hand accidentally got caught in her boobs. It's stuck there right now. In her boobs. I totally didn't mean to. I'm a married man. Speaking of my wife, she now knows whether she is sexually compatible with other women because she just had an accidental lesbian experience with your girlfriend. Tell her my wife said to shave "down there" more often or not at all, because that stubble is giving her a rash even through her shorts. And to think, all we paid for was to see a rock band. Asshole.
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 on this day last year missed an entry!

with love from CRS @ 10:32 PM 

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