CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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GOD ADMITS TO POSTPONING APOCALYPSE

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

this entry brought to you by nine inch nails, "survivalism"


In a rare interview earlier this week, the Creator of All Existence told reporters that he had postponed the End of the World indefinitely. "I had it set on my calendar: March 3rd, 1953," said The Almighty. "I had that date set centuries before hand. Not for any particular reason, just because I liked the sound of it. Three-Three-Five-Three. It just rolls off your tongue. And also, it was on a Tuesday, and I really don't think anybody would have seen the end of the world happening on a Tuesday. Gotta keep you on your toes, right?" But the Lord's plans came to a hault on August 9th, 1945, when America dropped one of two nuclear bombs on Hiroshima, Japan. "When I saw that I said 'Heavens to betsy! Would you look at that!' I mean, you people have always had this uncanny ability of killing one another off in various numbers, but now you had the power to blow up all My Creation in minutes. And I thought, you know, this whole Apocalypse thing, it's kind of-- well, it's not the kind of thing you can just get up and do, you know? You don't just wake up in the morning and say 'I think I'll bring on Armageddon today.' You really need a good sleep the night before, a good healthy breakfast that morning, you really need to have been working out the weeks leading up to it-- it can really wind a guy, lemme tell you. And I thought, if you people are just going to blow each other up, what's the point in my going through all that hassle?" God then went on to say that we have surprised even He by surviving this long, and that he'll probably get around to doing it himself eventually. "I can't possibly do it before the series finale of Sopranos, because I want to see if they end up killing the whole cast of characters like I think they will. And after that, enh, I dunno. If I get around to it. I mean I want to, but it's just that I really know myself. I'll keep putting it off and putting it off until I've completely forgotten about it, and then when somebody brings it up I'll hem and ha... What I'm saying is, I wouldn't place any bets or anything. But if you people want to give it another shot yourself, hey, you're welcome to it. Be creative."
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on this day last year Basically, it's a one-liner. But it's an amusing one.
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with love from CRS @ 10:25 AM 

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