Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

Making Your Own Fake Radio Show As a Kid

Sunday, June 29, 2014

this entry brought to you by jack white, "three women"

When I was in the fourth grade I recorded myself on tape making a fake radio program. I had segments and different characters with distinct voices and I played songs and made up commercials and everything. Here are the things I learned.

* When you are 10 and you're trying to make a fake radio show off the top of your head and are not staring at a clock to time yourself, you will do what you assumed was a half hour show, but when you listen back to it, it will be seven minutes long. You will then re-record it and keep going well past a length you are comfortable with, forcing yourself to try and come up with something, anything to talk about, and as time goes you will cut to more and more song breaks to stretch it out to a half an hour.

* You will discover that no matter how hard you try to make the voices distinct, by the halfway point all the characters will sound exactly like you.

* You will find the sound of your voice bizarre but will be unable to stop listening to it.

* You will find re-listening to the music the second time through to be intolerable, and you will fast forward through them to get to the parts where you're talking.

* All your jokes will be fucking hilarious and you won't believe how you just came up with all this stuff off the top of your head. Jesus Christ, maybe you're onto something. Maybe you want to do this for a living when you grow up. Maybe this is the moment your whole life changes.

* When your friend comes over and you insist that he sit down and listen, you will be suddenly overcome with the horror that listening to a child talk to himself for a half hour is the most goddamn boring thing on the planet, your jokes aren't even a little funny, and holy shit, your whole life is pathetic, and you will stop the tape less than a minute in, and will insist that on second thought, you should go play video games, and would he please not tell anyone about this.

with love from CRS @ 11:14 AM 


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