Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

The Bullshit Conversation A Group of Guys Always Get Into

Sunday, April 13, 2014

this entry brought to you by i come to shanghai, "call off the dogs (right on)"

I was telling a friend-- a female-- about a problem I was having with another friend-- also female-- and she asked me if all my stories have to do with girls. And the answer is yes. Yes, they do.

It's not that I hate other men or that I can't get along with them, it's that guys like me are like Bigfoot. Even ones that look kind of like me on the outside are apt to be total bullshit once you peer just a few layers. For example, men get bullshit competitive about things that do not matter to anyone, can cannot, in any conceivable matter, be seen as something to compete with, as if anyone around them is impressed, as if anything you say has to be one-upped.

When you get a group of four or five men together, you will inevitably hear a variation of this conversation:

Guy One: "I went to the gun range yesterday and I pulled out my [some big gun] and I shot that thing and it was like 'BRAAH BRAAAAAH BRRRRRAAAAH' and everybody's heads turned around and it was like 'What in the hell? Goddamn!'"

Guy Two: "Man, that ain't nothing! I went to the gun range last week and I pulled out my [some bigger gun] and I shot that thing it was like 'Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeer booooooooooom!' And everybody was like, 'Damn what is that thing!'"

It's a gun range. This is America. Everybody who is at a gun range in America is there to shoot a huge gun. Nobody gave a shit about your fucking gun. It's like if you went to Comicon dressed as Batman, and the other guy was dressed as a different Batman.

How is anyone supposed to be impressed about a gun none of us has actually see? And why did the second guy see fit to show you up with an even bigger gun? What is this accomplishing? You know none of us will be so impressed about this gun that none of us has seen that we'll suck your dick, right?

with love from CRS @ 11:51 AM 


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