Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

My First Hug

Thursday, April 03, 2014

this entry brought to you by smashing pumpkins, "cherub song"

I remember the first time I hugged a girl. Her name was Lisa, and I'm actually still close friends with her to this day.

I'd already spent a lot of time around girls, but it was mostly Jenn, my best friend's little sister, who was just a year younger than us, so it's not like I was completely unfamiliar with them. Still, being around Jenn was a specific dynamic-- I was her older brother's best friend, and it's not like I ever hugged her. Lisa was my own age, Lisa and I were spending time together by choice, Lisa and were were two teenagers who felt weird hormones all day long. It was a feeling I wasn't used to. It wasn't a date, but we'd known each other on-line for a few months by that point, and had met in person for the first time that morning.

After spending the day with her at the swimming pool trying not to stare at her heaving breasts, her older sister-- twice her age and some change-- dropped us off at my house, and we got out and said our goodbyes. I turned to walk away when I head a loud "Ahem", and I turned around and her arms were open and her eyes expectant.

I wasn't sure what to do. There was a beat. I couldn't just very well say "I don't want to hug" and walk away, especially since, now that I was seeing the opportunity, I desperately wanted to hug her. So I leaned forward and gave a warm, loving hug. After letting go she snapped "What the hell was that? Give me a real hug," and she smothered me in her arms.

I thought I had given her a real hug. I felt like my awkwardness must have been because it was my first hug.

"You still hug like that," she told me yesterday, after I posted my blog.

Yes, I know. I've been admonished repeatedly that my hugs suck, and have been told to give a "real hug" after giving what was, apparently, a dead fish of a hug, some sort of scared limp pussy. I don't know how to fix it.

with love from CRS @ 10:18 PM 


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