Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .


Monday, March 10, 2014

this entry brought to you by avenged sevenfold, "bat country"

HOUSTON-- Fifth grade LBJ Elementary School student Maryann Fields has caused quite a controversy, causing ripples throughout the entire school district, for entering her local Science Fair.

School principal Kyle Mullins says that he wasn't sure what to do with the student's inquiry into the Science Fair from the get-go.

"She approached me and asked me if she could join the Science Fair," said Mullins, "And I replied that of course she could-- God wants us all to be creative, and to have things to work hard on."

The Principal said that the school hadn't had a Science Fair in eight years, but didn't see what would be so bad about a child going through such an endeavor. He soon regretted that decision.

Fields' contentious project, "Dinosaurs: What Did They Eat?", has been furiously criticized by not only local parents and Fields' classmates, but even staff, for whether it's appropriate for the likes of school.

Local Mother Elsie Fischer complained to press that the project's implications that "Dinosaurs actually ate one another, and did not live in cooperation with man," were untrue and distressing.

"I don't need some kid going around claiming that just because she did 'research' into something, and that the research had been backed up by a 'scientific method' and 'peer review processes'," said Fischer, "means she gets to display her crap in the cafeteria for my little Aiden to see-- how would her mother feel if my son just took a dump in front of everybody? Because that's what she's doing with her so called 'Science Fair Project'."

Describing it as "pornography", local Grandfather Woodrow Banks complained that students like Fields shouldn't be allowed to speak their minds. "I think grown ups should be able to speak their minds about whatever opinion they want, about dinosaurs ruling the earth many millions of years more than just six thousand years ago, that's great! This is America! But I don't need no kid saying their opinions, like 'Dragons did not exist, and were not dinosaurs'! They learn what we tell them, and they don't question it!"

Fields' own Science teacher, Miss Anne Freidman, has admitted to not being very well trained for the controversy that such an outburst has caused.

"Generally I just stay back and ignore my training about Science," said Miss Friedman, "and let the students read the horseshit that's in these idiotic textbooks that teach the possibilities of 'creationism', giving them tests based on this nonsense curricula, knowing that it will in no way prepare them for college or real life. But when the students saw what little Maryann was doing, they all started throwing stones at her and saying she was a sinner. I've had to personally protect the girl by quoting bible verses to keep them from tearing her apart."

For what it's worth, Maryann Fields, who says she wants to be a Biologist Ballerina Superspy when she grows up has herself kept a positive attitude despite the negativity surrounding her controversial "Science Fair Project".

"I think dinosaurs are cool," said the fifth grader. "They're mean and scary and they eat other dinosaurs and sometimes plants, depending on which one. Some of them might have had feathers. That's awesome. I think they would look so cool wearing a tutu."

with love from CRS @ 8:35 AM 


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