Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

Of Course 12 Years A Slave Won Best Picture, Right Assholes?

Monday, March 17, 2014

this entry brought to you by beck, "earthquake weather"

After 12 Years A Slave won Best Picture, a lot of people were going around smugly remarking that of course it was going to win Best Picture. Of course. Those Hollywood liberals can never resist a movie about slavery. Their predictability and their white guilt meant they couldn't pick anything else but 12 Years a Slave. It was basically Affirmative Action in the movies! Ha ha ha! Hilarious!

Because of course there were all those other movies about slavery that won the Best Picture Oscar. Man, if you were in a coma for a year at any point during the history of cinema, you'd wake up and wouldn't be able to tell you'd been out at all! You'd say "Oh look, a movie about slavery won the Best Picture Oscar! I must've been in a coma for five minutes!"

Like that movie Amistad! Won all those Oscars! It was directed by Stephen Spielberg, the most beloved director of all time! As soon as Hollywood saw their favorite director making a movie about their favorite subject, they were positively jizzing all over themselves to give it the Best Picture Oscar!

No wait, I'm sorry, Amistad? NOT EVEN NOMINATED!

Nope! No nomination for Best Picture! But of course Djimon Honsou, the beautiful actor from Africa, who was able to transform himself into that of a slave, moving us all to tears as he shouted from the jail cell, in a tongue not of his own, "Give us us freedom!" He walked away with that Best Actor statue like he owned that shit.


But wait! Amistad was actually nominated for something! Look at this disgusting Hollywood elitism! Just giving Oscar nominations to anything about minorities... to a white man. Anthony Hopkins, who is nominated for absolutely every goddamn thing was nominated for his roll in Amistad. Hollywood liberals!

So, it turns out that Amistad was largely ignored during the Oscars. But there are a whole goddamn shitload of slavery movies that have been adored by the Academy. Glory was the movie that taught us who a young actor named Denzel Washington was! They've been shoving that one in Middle Schooler's faces for two decades now! Man, that movie absolutely fucked everyone else in the Best Picture category. It's so much about slavery, it takes place entirely during the war on slavery!


Okay, so I'm being unfair. There is actually one more movie about slavery that won the Best Picture Oscar from the Academy. That movie is called Gone With The Wind, which is a movie about a spoiled rich girl who struggles to survive after the heathens from the north during the Civil War burn down her slave plantation! And she's the hero! We're supposed to be rooting for her!

Man, those Hollywood elitists, patting themselves on the back yet again for their favorite liberal pet topics! What's next, yet another Best Picture Oscar with a gay main character?? (just FYI, although there have been several Oscar wins for actors portraying gay characters, there have been no Best Picture wins for gay movies).

with love from CRS @ 1:33 PM 


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