Chandler, Arizona, United States
There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .
MILLIONS OF ASSHOLES SIGN UP FOR OBAMACARE JUST TO FUCK WITH NATION
with love from CRS @ 10:24 AM
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Despite years of warning from every conservative outlet, politician, and relative through forwarded email that Obamacare will destroy the nation, bring about socialism, and cause untold deaths, over 6 million Americans have signed up for Obamacare before its March 31st deadline. Experts are forced to conclude that the only possible reason for this outcome is because millions of pranksters are simply trying to fuck with America, whether to completely see its utter demise, or simply out of morbid curiosity, like a child told not to stick its finger in the electric socket.
GOP spokeswoman Kathy Burton says that although Americans voted for Obama primarily because of his promise of overhauling the health care system, and then re-elected him for that reason, as well as voted for Democrats in larger numbers than Republicans in the last election for their support of the Affordable Care Act, she is disappointed at the pranksters who have rigged the system to succeed.
"How dare these people try to undermine democracy?" says Burton, who herself is not an elected official, but a lobbyist and spends her days writing laws that Representatives vote for without reading. "Shame on them, shame on their practical jokes, shame on them for signing up for Obamacare just for the 'lulz'.
Everyone knows poll after poll shows that everybody hates Obamacare and wants it to be repealed and that people were more than happy with the system the way it was a year ago. Obama's gloating over the healthcare law's success means that he's completely ignoring the fact that every person who has signed up for it wants to watch the world burn."
Burton has not ruled out hacker group Anonymous as having been behind Obamacare's disturbingly large number of participants, and is also considering the possibility that Juggalos, a rapping-horror-clown based gang, having something to do with it. America will overcome the horror that will be the next few years of life after the ACA, according to Burton, but she admonishes those that would try so hard to undermine America's foundation. "Clearly anyone that would sign up for such an obviously destructive program is willfully ignoring all the dire, cataclysmic warnings constantly being screamed by every Republican, through the entirety of Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, and even the network news who have done their due diligence by constantly letting both sides of the issue speak their mind as if both points of view are equally valid, thinks their practical joke is pretty funny. Well I'm here to tell them that it is not."
"Either that or I am grossly misrepresenting Obamacare, what the political leanings of the majority of the country actually are, and how democracy actually works," concluded the spokeswoman.