Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

What Could Be Gayer Than Masculinity?

Sunday, February 02, 2014

this entry brought to you by presidents of the united states, "lump"

Throughout my entire school life, almost without exception, I was always the first one to turn in my test, whether it be a run of the mill quiz, a standardized test that took up the entire week, or final exams. I should point out that I was not a straight A student, and my speed never meant that I was going to ace it, but it amazed me how consistently far ahead of everyone in every class I always was, even slacker students who clearly didn't give a shit and could just mark "C" on everything and get exactly as high a grade as they were getting, even students who were clearly smarter than me and had also spent all of their previous few nights studying, which I never did.

So when we were taking standardized test, this frequently meant hours between me finishing and the last person finishing (and this is not an exaggeration-- if the tests weren't timed, it often was two hours between me and the last person). I sometimes brought comic books to read, magazines, but most often I drew or wrote. Still, sometimes I'd get frustrated with something I was drawing or my wrist would start hurting from writing, and perhaps I didn't bring any magazines or had finished everything, so I'd get up and peruse the pile of magazines the teachers brought.

The teachers always read the absolute worst fucking magazines, and I was too young to enjoy reading Time or Newsweek, and the leftovers were always Sports Illustrated and Vogue. I would pick up the Vogue magazines and flip through them. Sometimes I would be looking for women to try to draw-- drawing clothes is difficult, which is why comic book characters wear costumes-- but sometimes I would just look through the pictures.

And, inevitably, some asshole would point and snicker, "Gay."

Which never, ever, ever made sense to me. First of all, I wasn't reading it, and I couldn't give a shit about the actual fashions or articles. I clearly didn't give a shit about fashion, as I wore t-shirts an jeans to school. But here's what made the least sense to me:

Grab an issue of Sports Illustrated and flip to any page at all. What is it you see?

Sweaty dude.

Grab an issue of Vogue and flip to any page at all. What is it you see?

Pretty lady looking pretty, and there's a huge chance you'll be able to see her nipples poking in her dress, or, in rare cases, bare nipples.

As a person in school, absolutely the only time it is acceptable to be looking at pictures of women with pokies is while waiting for the last person to finish his or her test. It is not acceptable to just look at pokies at any other point during the day. And yet somehow I was the gay one because I didn't read the magazine with sweaty dudes?

And yes, these were just Junior High and High School assholes, dumb as rocks and didn't know shit. And if they weren't making fun of me for this they would have made fun of something else. I brought it on myself for being so weird, people would say. I'm just saying I don't understand how to anyone who understands that the word "gay" when directed to a male means "likes to look at dudes in a sexual way" could somehow be inferred from a man expressly not looking at dudes.

Which brings me to this video:

Now, videos have a habit of just disappearing on the Internet, and I have no idea when you'll be reading this, or, for that matter, maybe you've already seen in a million times. But here's the relevant part:

HOST HOWARD KURTZ : So what about this bully narrative [surrounding Chris Christie]?

FOX SENIOR POLITICAL ANALYST BRIT HUME: Well, I would have to say that in this sort of feminized atmosphere in which we exist today, guys who are masculine and muscular like that in their private conduct, kind of old fashion tough guys, run some risk.


KURTZ: Feminized.

HUME: Atmosphere.

KURTZ: By which you mean?

HUME: By which I mean that men today have learned the lesson the hard way that if you act like a kind of an old fashioned guy’s guy, you’re in constant danger of slipping out and saying something that’s going to get you in trouble and make you look like a sexist or make you look like you seem thuggish or whatever. That’s the atmosphere in which he operates. This guy is very much an old fashioned masculine, muscular guy, and there are political risks associated with that. Maybe it shouldn’t be, but that’s how it is.

Now, first of all, I'm a feminist, and Brit Hume deciding to say the problem is "Feminists, amirite??" is bullshit, and the implications he is making are disgusting. And then there's the fact that a woman just spoke to him and he didn't even acknowledge that she was there, barely even pausing his speech, the way one might if a child came up and brought something up that had nothing to do with the topic and acknowledging the child would ruin the conversation. And there's also the fact that people didn't love Chris Christie for his criminal enterprise, they loved him for his no-nonsense attitude, and we only love it when people come crashing down when they do horrible fucking things. All that's super important, but not what I want to talk about right now.

What I want to talk about right now is Brit Hume referring to Chris Christie as "masculine and muscular".

Listen. I'm not a guy's guy. I'm part of what Brit Hume is referring to as our "feminized culture". I think masculinity is bullshit, I refer to myself as a feminist, and I talk about my feelings and shit. And while I'm a heterosexual who, as a student, liked to stare at pokies while the rest of the class was doing tests, I would sooner suck two cocks in a row than join a company football team.

But I have absolutely never referred to a man that I admired that way!! "Masculine" and "Muscular"? Who fucking talks this way? I have literally turned off porno because the guy's dick was too small, but I have never referred to a man as "masculine and muscular"!!

Brit Hume seems to be whistful for the days when men used to go off to Moose Lodges and Men's Clubs every week just to be around other men, which positively does not make sense. Your grandfather would say things like "Ah, it was just a way to get away from the wives. You could just spend some time not worrying about the family and just let loose."

...Keep in mine that before the "feminized" atmosphere Hume is complaining about, women weren't commonly in the workplace outside of secretary positions. So men would go to work and spend all their time with other men. Then come home and, to avoid their wives, would hang out in clubs... around other men.

Seriously, what the fuck. What in the world could be gayer than a man's man?

with love from CRS @ 8:15 AM 


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