Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

People Who Don't Play Along with Hypothetical Questions Are Goddamn Assholes

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

this entry brought to you by flying lotus, "zodiac shit"

I love asking hypothetical questions. I love the conversations that can arise, especially when somebody gives a completely different answer than what you would give, or if they give the same answer as you, but give drastically different reasons.

I would say, however, that a distressingly high amount of people, like 1 in 6, don't understand the real concept of your hypothetical question, and act as if you're trying to trap them. As if you're a genie and if they don't word it exactly right, they'll end up as a pile of donkey shit just because they didn't specifically tell you not to turn them into a pile of donkey shit.

What would you do with a million dollars?

"Nothing. I'd turn it in. If I suddenly had a million dollars someone would notice and the Feds would come busting down my door faster than you can say some grossly short phrase that is an exaggerated example that would demonstrate how quickly a thing might happen."

It's inherited by a long-lost uncle you've never heard of, so it's all legal, all above the board.

"I don't have any long lost uncles I've never heard of. If a long-lost uncle comes out of the woodwork, clearly I'm being scammed. If you're dumb enough to think that long lost uncles could just show up and give you a million dollars for no reason, I have some famous landmark to sell you that would easily exemplify how gullible you are and how eager you are to lose your money."

Alright, you inherit a million dollars from your father, who had been saving it under your nose your whole life, had gained it by entirely legal means, but was holding it for a rainy day and passed away before such an occasion came up. Now it's yours. Now, for God's sakes, what the fuck would you do with the money?

"I wouldn't accept it. I hate my dad. He can take the money and shove it up his ass, I don't need his fucking money."

Well fuck me! It turns out you saw through my little ruse! I'm actually The Wish Master, and if you'd told me what you would have done with the money, I would have magically teleported you to a hellish nightmare dimension where you spend an eternity being chased by all of the various mobs, because all that money you had gotten was stolen from them! How could you have possibly known my evil plot! And could you have ever guessed that it was fucking impossible that someone might be interested in having goddamn casual conversation with you, you fucking genius! Man, sure dodged a bullet with that one! Now I'll disappear with a puff of smoke and torment someone who unthinkingly says they would assassinate Hitler as a baby if they had a chance! Bwahahahahahaaaa!

with love from CRS @ 8:44 PM 


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