Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .


Monday, December 16, 2013

this entry brought to you by radiohead, "climbing up the walls"

While doing her laundry this past weekend, local woman Darlene Keller has unearthed a bumper sticker emblazoned with the words "KONY 2012" on it, and, as of press time, is completely befuddled as to exactly what it is supposed to represent.

"It sounds like a new fast-food menu item," said a confused Keller. "But I'm a vegan, so I can't imagine ever having gone into a fast food joint and getting a free bumper sticker for Super Sizing or whatever."

"If it was a fast food menu item, it certainly wasn't popular, because I have absolutely never heard of nor seen a Kony advertised anywhere. Doesn't it sound like some sort of sausage sandwich? Or perhaps a pita bread filled with shredded beef?" wondered Keller, completely stumped. "Maybe a croissant filled with bacon? Does Jack In The Box have a curry sandwich already? Something along those lines?"

The 27 year old Keller, who describes herself as "very liberal and caring", and says she "really should read books more often", isn't sure how the bumper sticker even got in her apartment, suggesting a friend might have accidentally left it after a night of bar hopping, or that it might have fallen out of the junk mail.

Keller wondered aloud whether or not it was prank by a street artist, similar to the "OBEY" posters found around the city in the mid 2000's adorned with the face of Andre the Giant. "I could have gotten it years and years ago, and it was just a funny-sounding slogan, you know, something vague and strange to intimidate people. 'KONY 2012'. I think that's really clever!"

The former fine arts major at North Carolina State University also theorized that it might have been a joke given to her by her sister about the Mayan-prophesied end of the world that was supposed to have happened in 2012, questioning whether or not "Kony" was a Mayan word for Armageddon.

"My sister is way into end-of-the-world prophecies. Not that she believes any of them, but they're fun to make fun of!"

When reached for comment, Keller's boyfriend Scott Padilla, told the press that he couldn't speak further on the subject, as he and Keller were currently at Central Fashion Mall, protesting its use of bottled water, a cause they had recently become "extremely passionate about".

with love from CRS @ 7:45 AM 


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