Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

A Letter To My Arch Nemesis, Pope Francis

Monday, December 30, 2013

this entry brought to you by haim, "falling"

Hey, Asshole.

I'm an avowed atheist, and as an atheist, one of my mission statements is to spread reason throughout the world, in whatever small way that I can. There is no such thing as God, and, moreover, there is no reason for God anymore. Religion does more damage to society-- all societies-- than it does good. The Catholic Church in particular is a specifically evil vessel, and its methods are bizarre, Draconian, and it cares about nothing but protecting itself to the detriment of nearly everything else.

However, your impassioned words against out of control capitalism and trickle down economics, defending the poor, as well as nearly everything else you've done since you've been elected the Pope are making it really difficult for me. Every time you open your mouth, saying all these reasonable things, like atheists and homosexuals being able to go to heaven if they are good people, it makes people who might otherwise have had it with Catholicism and might start looking in the direction of no religion at all, think twice. It's giving people of faith even more faith in the power of God, and it's, frankly, infuriating.

Although you still live in a solid gold palace in your own city with its own laws and jurisdiction, which is still a solid point on my side, you refuse to sit in garish thrones in ridiculous robes and clothes like all of your predecessors, and it's making people think you're humble. And I've got to tell you, that's a real thorn my side. Whether or not this is just a PR move from the Catholic Church as an institution using you as a puppet for its new found message is entirely irrelevant when it's more like Jesus. Damn you.

But the most disturbing thing about you, Mr. Francis-- if that's your real name-- is your repeated emphasis of helping the poor over the Church's traditional complete and utter obsession with pet issues like abortion and homosexuality. Your unscripted and public embracing of the sick, homeless, and people of different faiths makes people think you care-- which you apparently do, as the rumors of you slipping out at night in disguise to break bread with the needy say-- and it's really difficult for a person in my position to point at you and say what a horrible hypocrite you and your organization are, like I've been able to for the entirety of my being aware of such a thing as a "pope". Frankly, it's pissing me off.

Your Church has done some things it won't be forgiven for by the likes of me, and shouldn't be. But your insistence on actually emphasizing Jesus' words-- words that an atheist like me thinks are worth modeling your life after whether or not he was the Messiah-- isn't just awe-inspiring to the entire world, it's fucking beautiful. How am I supposed to convince people that there is no God if the person who is closest to him in the Catholic church has, for once, been totally right?

Listen, Pope Francis. You are proving to be a worthy adversary, and every day I find myself having to up my game that much more. I can't say I like it-- I actually quite liked constantly making fun of your Church and its foolishly devoted followers-- but I find the most assholish thing about you to be the way you twist my mind and make me enjoy agreeing with you. It's been way, way too much of a pleasure nodding my head and smiling broadly at everything you say.

I'm watching you. You're still a representative of an organization that I'm completely against. But every single day I grow more and more uneasy in my belief that the other shoe is not going to drop. Dammit. Dam-mit. You and me, Pope. We're arch enemies.

With Pure Unadulterated Spite,
Chris Waites

PS. If you keep this care-for-your-fellow-man business, I'm going to have to remove you from my Arch Nemesis list and make you an honorary Atheist. None of us wants that.

with love from CRS @ 8:59 AM 


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