Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .


Monday, July 15, 2013

this entry brought to you by modest mouse, "float on"

SANFORD-- In a surprise twist that has surprised and shocked America-- the verdict of "Not Guilty" in the trial of George Zimmerman, the armed lunatic who shot and killed 17 year old Trayvon Martin-- did not lead to riots in any portion of the country. In a state of confusion and bafflement, people across the nation have tried to come to grips in how this is possible, especially now, in an age where Americans are seemingly at a constant state of outrage.

"Ordinarily people are up in arms over the tiniest, most ridiculous things," said one Internet commenter. "How could this possibly not be the thing to push them over the edge?"

Another commenter on a news article about the not guilty verdict summed it up by saying "I think America has been numbed by the myriad backward nonsense coming out of the Southern states that they don't even know how to react anymore."

Harvard Sociology Professor Ervin Cross, PhD, has told reporters that he had been lecturing about the symptoms and causes of riots, and had said if the George Zimmerman verdict came back "not guilty", the students could expect to see the stew that causes riots form right before their eyes if they kept their eyes on the various news networks over the weekend.

The Professor stated disappointment when his students did not get to study how grossly unpopular court decisions created unrest in the common people, creating civil unrest. "I mean, seriously, what the hell does it take to get a riot, if not this?" asked a despondent Cross, who now feels as if the entire foundation of his PhD thesis has been shattered.

Portland's local CBS news affiliate anchor Regina Singleton said on the morning show "Wake Up, Oregon!", that she had been asked by a friend if she expected there to be riots after the verdict. "I told my friend that I really didn't give a shit, and while I ordinarily hope there are no riots after major, tension-filled cases like this because innocent people get hurt and private as well as public property is destroyed, in this case, fuck it."

"Wake Up, Oregon!" producer Joel Morrison reported that he'd gotten more positive feed back from the news anchor's profanity filled outburst than any segment they'd aired since the time when local reporter Christine Cruz spat on an effigy of Mitt Romney after his famous "47% remark".

Chief of Police for Sanford, FL, Barry Harmon has stated that his police officers remain vigilant and ready for the call to break out the riot gear at a moment's notice.

"Just because the police officers of the great state of Florida have not been able to bash the heads of disobedient civilians, shoot canisters of tear gas into crowds of people, and kick pregnant women in the face up until this point, doesn't mean they won't get to," said the chief. "We haven't had a riot in the immediate aftermath of the verdict, but that doesn't mean we won't in the coming days."

"After all," continued the chief, "all these boys are chomping at the bit for some action, and if the riots don't begin organically, we'll have to start bean bagging people until something happens. But whatever, it's all good."

with love from CRS @ 4:08 PM 


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