Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .


Monday, June 17, 2013

this entry brought to you by queens of the stone age, "my god is the sun"

After generations of being emotionally distant, unknowable, judgmental and for perpetually never being around, America's fathers realized over this past Father's Day that they do not deserve a day dedicated to them.

Sacramento, CA father Henry Cunningham admitted that he had worked overtime at his job for the past fifteen years specifically to avoid having to spend more time with his family. "My job has asked me to put in over time four, maybe five times a year over my twenty years of employment, but I've been staying every day for hours past clocking out just to avoid going to school functions."

Cunningham, the father of two teenaged boys and an eight year old girl added, "I'm tired of getting stupid ties as a present for Father's Day, but really, there's no reason my kids should put any thought into presents for me. Actively avoiding personal time with them means they can never get to know things that I really enjoy. "

Domingo Salazar, a self-employed father from San Antonio, TX, came to the realization that he did not deserve any sort of celebration of fatherhood after noticing that, while he was always around his 17 year old daughter, he has spent the majority of his time judging her.

"She's too fat, her grades are never good enough, and her friends are stupid," said Salazar. "I've said those words out loud a thousand times, and it was on the thousandth and first time that I realized I don't deserve to even be at her wedding when that time comes, let alone get a card for Father's Day."

Salazar then began to openly weep for the first time in his life, saying "I swore I wouldn't be an asshole like my father, but I am," over and over.

Rampant functional alcoholism was also cited as a recurring problem that disqualified the nation's fathers from the various praise that is printed on the coffee mugs given to them on Father's Day. "All the stress of my work day just melts away," says Albany, NY father of two now-grown children Marty Dawson, "once I get a few beers in me and I let out all my anger and frustration by yelling at my children and randomly breaking things around the house. It feels good to swallow my feelings all day and explode, but I can see why they secretly hate me and couldn't wait to move out of the house when they got old enough."

Dawson also admitted that his college bound sons never visit now that they are away, and never call during Father's Day. "I'm sure they've completely forgotten when Father's Day is now that they don't have to ever see me, and I can't blame them. I'm a depressing shell of a human being."

Even fathers that strongly attempt to be there for their children and love and care for them, admit that fathers are not worth celebrating. Wilbur Taylor, a gay father of a happy three year old boy along with his husband, Steven Tran, said, "I'll always be there for little Phil, and I will allow him to grow up to be whoever he wants to be, and will never judge him. But my father kicked me out of the house at 16 and said he never would see me again, so I think it'll take at least another three generations for Father's Day to mean anything to anyone."

with love from CRS @ 9:09 AM 


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