CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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"Who's That Weirdo In Our Old Photo?"

Friday, February 01, 2013

this entry brought to you by miami sound machine, "the rhythm is gonna get you"


Now that everybody's one Facebook, every now and again I'll get in contact with an old friend who will something like, "Oh my gosh, Chris! I miss you so much! Nobody made me laugh like you!"

Which is very flattering, but it always makes me think, somebody obviously isn't remembering the moody guy who would absolutely fucking ruin perfectly fine days. That was my signature style in my early twenties. I could spend an entire day with you that went extremely well, and then in the last twenty minutes to an hour, absolutely ruin it.

I was at a party with a friend once. Everyone else that was there all knew each other, and the only person I knew was my friend. Somehow I ended up having a really good time with her anyway. Despite her being the connective tissue to everybody, she spent the majority of the night next to me, so despite the fact that I didn't know anyone and worse, couldn't relate with anyone at all because they were drastically different than me, I ended up having a good time with her. I remember helping her up on a horse and walking next to her as she and the horse trotted around.

The end of the night came, however, and somebody pulled out the camera, and wanted a group picture. I immediately and quietly ducked out, but before I knew it, somebody was asking me to join.

"No thank you!" I said politely, trying my best not to make a big deal about it.

"Chris, come on! Why won't you join?" somebody asked.

"Well, you know, you guys are all friends, and in a few months you're going to look back at the picture and you're going to be like, who's that guy?"

There was laughter, oh gosh, Chris, you're so funny. But I wasn't being funny. For one thing, I didn't know anybody else in the room besides my friend, and didn't like the idea of somebody looking at the picture and feeling weird that there was just some guy there. For another thing, being around the group of them made me feel self conscious. I didn't dress anything like them, and my hair is weird, so not only did I not belong, but I stuck out like a sore thumb. I was fine being there with my friend up to that point, but there was no reason whatsoever to be in a group photo.

But back and forth we went for minutes, until it was this fucking awkward thing, completely ruining the mood of the night. I think everyone called it a night after that point, when before the camera came out I had a feeling it was a spur of a moment thing, and the momentum of the night did not feel like it was spurring down.

So yes, I ruined a perfectly good night, and because I was being selfish and couldn't get in the stupid group photo with strangers, now people are looking back on that photo, and instead of saying "Who is that guy?", they're saying, "Look! There's Sarah! And Nicki! Don't they look pretty? And there goes Mike, throwing gang signs-- what a kidder! And look! There's that asshole who fucked up the whole night. Who invited him again?"
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with love from CRS @ 8:15 PM 

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