Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

Getting Your Review At Work Is Usually Bullshit

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

this entry brought to you by bat for lashes, "all your gold"

My favorite part about working is review time, because your boss acts like there's a quota for how many "excellents" he can give out at any point in time, and regardless of how big the corporation it is you work or how bottom of the food chain you are, he acts as if giving you a raise is going to come out of his pocket, literally. Like he has six people to reviews to, only four "excellent" marks to give, and any raise he grants he will have to reach into his wallet and give you on the spot. And since he has only four excellents to give, he sure as hell isn't going to give it to the guy who doesn't eat lunch with him every day.

There was a particular job I had. This guy named Todd started working. He was an asshole, and everyone instantly hated him. He had the sloping brow, and everyone, even the dumber of my coworkers, all whispered behind his back that he looked and acted like a cave man. He made us all uncomfortable. But for some reason he had a problem with me in particular. Not sure why. I just made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Even my boss came up to me one day and said "I don't know what that guy has against you. I'll talk to him."

He was only there for a month, and was fired for stealing. Just to paint a picture of this real winner.

About a week before his last day he needed something from me, and, with a horrible tone in his voice, called on the overhead, "Sigh, Chris Waites, are you there? I need something."

"What's up, sunshine?" I yelled out.

And then, on the overhead mind you, he said "WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME? FUCK YOU, FAGGOT!"

He got written up for this incident, which I thought was weird, but it was all fine and good because he was fired a week later for stealing.

Months pass and it was review time. And under "Gets Along Well With Others", my boss had written "Needs Improvement," and had written a note that said "Name calling."

Name calling?

"Do you remember 'Sunshine'?" he asked.

But that guy was an asshole! You yourself even noted that he had a problem with me from the get-go for no reason, I protested.

"That's why I wrote 'Needs Improvement', and not 'Poor'," he replied, as if this made any sense, never mind that sarcastically calling someone "Sunshine" was nobody's definition of "name calling" in the history of name calling, and this was an overnight, backroom type of job where the most horrible things were said on a regular basis and nobody blinked an eye or ever got in any trouble.

I just signed the stupid thing. Obviously there was an email that he got that said we absolutely do not have it in our budget to give more than two dollars in raises for your entire crew, so make up whatever bullshit you can to dock someone.

with love from CRS @ 6:40 PM 


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