CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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"But Would You Want To Ban Cars As Well???"

Friday, January 18, 2013

this entry brought to you by darren korb, "twisted streets"


Whenever someone goes on one of these shooting rampages and kills over a dozen people (which is happening with such frequency I should just edit that sentence to say every couple of weeks), some gun advocacy person-- and I won't say "gun nut" because reasonable people also make this argument; the problem isn't that they are nuts, it's that they do not understand false equivalencies-- will ask a variation of this:

"Well, what if someone got behind the wheel of a car and specifically drove into a crowd of people with the intent to kill, and murdered twenty people. Would you want to ban cars?"

What, you mean cars, those things that are heavily regulated, and you can lose your right to legally operate one without actually hurting another human being? Did you know that? Did you know there are things you can do where the government-- those cretins!-- take away your ability to operate that vehicle, and you don't have to kill anyone for them to do that! You don't even have to be crazy or intoxicated! You could just go around using it wrong even when nobody is around for miles!

But let's get back to the question. Yes, in those cases where there are assault vehicles, specifically designed to kill the largest amount of people in the smallest amount of time, and are utterly impossible to move out of the way of even when you see it coming, those assault vehicles where even if someone else with good intentions tries to stop you from killing people with their own assault vehicle can not tell what's going on and accidentally kill someone innocent, yes, I support banning that vehicle outright! And then I question the regulating authority on how the hell this vehicle ended up on the streets to begin with.

And before you ask, yes, I support banning knives that are specifically designed to kill the maximum amount of people in the smallest amount of time possible, the ones that every New Years somebody throws up in the air in celebration and it travels a quarter or a mile and strikes a child in the head, killing them. I want those gone.

Scissors too! If there are a pair of scissors specifically designed to kill human beings and it would be utterly illogical to use them to actually cut things because nobody wants the paper they are cutting to get blown up, and somebody wants to drive-by scissor someone and a grandma just sitting on her porch enjoying that day gets scissored to death as well, and there are neighborhoods where this notoriously happens, then yes, I want those banned too!

Boxing gloves! If there were boxing gloves that left a bruise on one side but a gigantic hole on the other side, specifically designed not to beat a boxing opponent, but to kill them as gruesomely as possible, then I don't want boxers using them! Furthermore, I don't want anybody using them!

Fuckin' pillows! If a man can go to the roof of a building and just start throwing high powered pillows randomly into the crowd below and kill twenty people, I have no use for them! Get them the fuck out of my country!

What else you got?
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with love from CRS @ 8:42 AM 

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