Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .


Sunday, September 16, 2012

this entry brought to you by nine inch nails, "the perfect drug"

NEW YORK-- For the fourteenth time in the past twelve months alone, Rolling Stone magazine has printed another fucking article on Bob Dylan, to the excitement of absolutely no one. Despite the hundreds of thousands of words already dedicated to Bob Dylan since the inception of the magazine, somehow writer Mikal Gilmore managed to find 5,000 more words for the enigmatic music icon.

Historians have estimated that there are only 12 words in the English that have yet to appear in a Bob Dylan article, including "sarcophagus", "bushwhacked", and "gestational".

This new fucking Bob Dylan article is especially notable, considering the magazine's target demographic, males and females aged 18-35, have never heard a single Bob Dylan record in its entirety, and never will.

"Yeah, I definitely downloaded a couple MP3s by him," said 35 year old Jesse Stanton, avid Rolling Stone reader, "and they were great! Really deep, really interesting songs. I listened to the lyrics and they had this amazing bite to them. And man-- those studio musicians were simply masterful."

"But c'mon," said Stanton, "am I really going to listen to this in my free time? Not even my dad, who grew up on Dylan, listens to him in his free time."

Tilda Freeman, 38 years old, also has never heard a Dylan record. "I saw him in concert last year because it's Bob fucking Dylan, and I had a pretty good time. He was very cool, you know? Especially for an old guy."

Freeman added that no one in the audience knew any of the words to any of the songs, "and we had trouble understanding what he was saying. But you know, he's really old, so it's not like you were expecting your socks knocked off like you would at an actual rock show."

Rolling Stone Magazine editor in chief Jann S. Wenner, himself pushing well over six decades old, has said that the magazine plans on publishing an additional seven fucking articles on the inspirational troubadour before year ends, and will declare 2013 "The Year of Dylan", though it will be the anniversary of absolutely nothing Dylan related.

with love from CRS @ 12:24 PM 


Post a Comment