Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

Coming Home Early In The Middle of the Night

Sunday, September 09, 2012

this entry brought to you by tool, "vicarious"

I work over night at a grocery store, so I leave at 11pm. One day I'd been at work for about an hour and fifteen minutes, when I discovered I wasn't scheduled, so I left early. By the time I got home, I could see all the lights were out. I didn't want to wake her up, so I eased the key in as quietly as I could so that it wouldn't make this loud click, and tried to sneak in.

Didn't work. Michelle was obviously still awake, and I heard her open the door and come into the hallway, and with the most horrible, most threatening voice she could muster, she screamed "WHO IS THERE!!! WHO IS THERE!!!"

I told her it was okay, it just me, and she walked into view, obviously shaken, hand to chest, telling me how much I scared her. But the thing was, she was also holding a vacuum cleaning attachment. And I don't know if you have a vacuum where all the attachments are made out of steel pipes, so let me say that the attachments to our vacuum are plastic.

Like, if I were a robber/rapist, I'd turn tail, saying, "Bitches that be cleaning at 2 in the morning are too anal retentive for me to rape. I like them nice and utterly uncaring about cleanliness and order-- I'm outtie!"

with love from CRS @ 9:45 AM 


Post a Comment