Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

The Cast of Alien Vs The Cast of Prometheus

Saturday, June 09, 2012

this entry brought to you by miike snowe, "animal"

Michelle and I were talking about British movies, and I had said that one of the things I like about movies in the UK is that they're much more likely to cast real looking people than over here. In the UK the lead might be your Hugh Grant or your Colin Firths, but all of the supporting cast is always, well, British. Bad teeth and see-through skin and everything. Whereas here in the States, everybody in every movie always looks like they were cast for a CW show.

If you look at movies from the 70s and there is a character that is an actress and she's, say, 40, there will frequently be a subplot about how she is self conscious of her age, as she sees the roles that used to be hers going to women younger and more beautiful than her. But if you look at movies from the 70s, people looked like monsters compared to how people look nowadays. Think about it: Charles Bronson was once an action hero. Nobody that looks anything like Charles Bronson could get a role as a leading man in any movie nowadays, and wouldn't get anything bigger than, say, a child molester in a crime procedural. In fact, even the equivalent of B-movies, which Charles Bronson definitely was a star of, in modern days they're direct-to-video movies, and they look more like CW casting than even the mainstream movies. Somehow every cheap horror flick made for a few thousand dollars looks more like it was cast entirely at a Photoshop contest than the movies that actually are looking for people with faces they can put on a billboard.

And as I was talking to my wife about this, I came across a comparison that could not be a more perfect example of what I'm talking about.

This is the cast of Alien, released in 1979, directed by Ridley Scott.

Firstly, you have Veronica Cartright, who looks positively bulimic, and has always looked that way. Then you have two pasty, out-of-shape British actors, Ian Holmes and John Hurt. Yaphet Koto is anybody's definition of a badass, but here he is is also out-of-shape, and looks like someone who would sexually harass you at work. Harry Dean Stanton looks like a sack of crap, and has always looked like a sack of crap. That leaves Tom Skerrit and Sigourney Weaver, the only two people who could genuinely be called good looking, and he is covered by a scraggly hobo beard, and she is downplayed by the most sexless jumpsuit in the history of sci-fi; she is further downplayed just by being photographed with the rest of the cast.

This is the cast of Prometheus, released in 2012, directed by Ridley Scott, and takes place in the exact same universe as the previous movie.

Listen, of all women in the world, I have been utterly in love with Sigourney Weaver longer than most, and I have repeatedly put her on my list of most beautiful women in the world. She is beautiful. But she is not beautiful in the same way that Charlize Theron is. Charlize Theron is beautiful like they write books about. Then there's Michael Fassbender, who looks like Charlize Theron's brother. I don't know who black guy is, but Jesus Fucking Christ. That dude is a far sight away from Yaphet Koto. Then there's other guy, and he looks better than four Tom Skerrits, and he's the least good looking guy on the cast. Noomi Rapace is a waifish brunette white girl, and is probably the exact equivalent of beauty as Sigourney Weaver, who is also a waifish brunette white girl, only 6 feet tall. Still, Weaver looked less good by association with the rest of the homely cast of Alien; Rapace looks even better by being pictured next to the rest of the gorgeous cast.

Makes you wonder if somewhere, Veronica Cartright is desperately trying to get plastic surgery in an effort to keep what remains of her youth, as all the younger, more beautiful women keep getting the roles she used to get.

with love from CRS @ 6:44 PM 


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