CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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That Facebook Friend I Might Have Put In Therapy

Thursday, August 04, 2011

this entry brought to you by harlem shakes, "tfo"


Every time I see a picture of a particular friend on Facebook, I'm reminded of one time on my couch. We weren't dating, we were just friends, had never even kissed before. But we were watching television, and she was laying with her head in my lap, one arm wrapped around my leg. And I decided to snake my hand up her shirt and under her bra.

"Chris!" she snapped. "Are you copping a feel?"

"Yes," I said.

"Well then... Okay." And she continued to watch television, and I continued to keep my hand on her breast.

And I always wondered, did she genuinely not mind my hand on her breast but was shocked that I made a move? Or was she shocked that I made a move and was so galled by my utter lack of humility that she just left it there, stock frozen, going to her happy place.

On the one hand, I had already felt someone else's breasts before, but I was still new to this game, and I am extremely proud of myself for not sheepishly withdrawing, being utterly embarrassed, and hating myself, unable to look her or any other girl in the eyes for weeks. Because after all, she was sending all the right signals-- her head was in my lap, and not just for a moment. It had been there for ten minutes or so.

On the other hand, if she went off to her happy place, we already have a word for that, and it's not "copping a feel". It's called "molestation". And every time I see her face on facebook I want to email her and ask "Hey, did I hand rape you 17 years ago on my couch? Or were you annoyed that I didn't go any further? Or, there's a third option, do you not even remember that day, because you have blocked it out? Has even reading this email brought you back to a horrible dark place that you had left buried, and now you need to make an appointment with your therapist?"
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with love from CRS @ 8:04 AM 

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