CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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Dream About My New Job at Green.com

Thursday, August 11, 2011

this entry brought to you by queens of the stone age, "infinity"


I got a job at Green.com, which was a news website/editorial/aggregator/community site about everything having to do with going green. It was a pretty small company with about 12 people in the office, and they were all liberal, cute as hell, hip, and there was free food always in the office, all of it healthy and organic so you could snack all day and not get fat. They hired me the day I interviewed because they felt like the site lacked personality. I wouldn't have to actually write any content, I would just read other people's pieces and punch it up with humor, and I was expected to be irreverent and subversive and could swear as much as I wanted. This wasn't exactly my dream job-- I'd rather be writing my own comedy pieces, and I am not particularly jonesing to be writing about going green, but I got to sit down and take stuff other people wrote-- so I wouldn't have to do any actual, you know, research-- and then I got to make it funny! Any way I wanted!

Now, I would like to point out that this is a "dream job goes awful" dream, which is typical. And I would also like to say that I frequently have dreams where I am supposed to be funny, and am completely rejected. For example, I might be hanging out with comedians and all of them just hate me. This dream did not go this way. My humor input was very much appreciated.

The problem is that I was hired on the spot, and expected to start immediately. My current job is an over night shift, so in the dream I'd gotten off an eight hour shift, gone for the interview, was hired immediately, and then expected to start making with the funny on no sleep. And if I took the rest of the day off, I would be fired for not being past my 90 days. So I was stuck there in front of a computer screen, looking at nonsense, unable to think of anything funny, forcing my eyes to stay open.
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Hey, by the way, I just looked up Green.com-- how the hell is that not taken?? Seriously! Go check! There's Go-green.com, Planetgreen.com, etc. No Green.com! Not even a Green.org! How the fuck is this possible?
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with love from CRS @ 8:04 AM 

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