CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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COMEDIAN FROM 2000 WANTS TO KNOW IF CALISTA FLOCKHART STILL SKINNY

Sunday, August 07, 2011

this entry brought to you by pearl jam, "elderly woman behind the counter in a small town"


Comedian Derrick Reddington fell into a coma after a tragic accident in 1996, and now, just a few months after waking up, is expected to make a full recovery. Doctors are amazed that his verbal and motor skills have recovered so well after being comatose for such an extended period of time.

"I have been consistently amazed that Derrick's brain activity has stayed active during the entire time, which is very rare for coma patients," said Dr. Sharron Chalfant, speech patholigst. "The first thing he asked me once he was able to speak cognitively was whether or not Calista Flockhart was still skinny, or if all celebrities in the year 2012 are so skinny that picking on specifically Calista Flockhart would seem strange."

"I can't tell you how proud a speech pathologist is to hear her patient say complex names like 'Calista Flockhart', whoever that is," continued the doctor. "She was that girl on Felicity, right?"

Family, friends, and well-wishers who have come by to visit him are joyous that he finally pulled through after all these years.

"I never gave up hope," said Reddington's wife Jessica. "I knew that it had been so long and that the probability of seeing his smiling face again was so low, but I always knew against hope that I would. As soon as I saw him he hugged me and asked me if women still go to the bathroom in groups or if sociologists have explained why women do that, because he'd been dreaming that he came up with fifteen more minutes of material on that subject. I started crying right then, just to see him alive and looking into my eyes."

Reddington himself has said that he can't wait to be home with his wife, to be able to eat a nice home cooked meal, and to go back on the road as soon as he possibly can, to return to the life of a stand-up comedian, the profession he loves so much.

"Do bitches still be tripping?" asked Reddington to reporters. "I need to make sure that my 45 minutes on how bitches be tripping still works in 2012."
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with love from CRS @ 7:36 AM 

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