CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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DEAD MOTHER HAUNTS HOUSE BY DISAPPROVING OF SON'S PORN COLLECTION

Sunday, May 08, 2011

this entry brought to you by the bronx, "shitty future"


It all started when Eric Cleaves noticed, about two weeks after his mother’s dying during her sleep in the house that he shared with her and his girlfriend Veronica Privette, that his Internet browser’s history was filled with Google search queries, and did not have any idea how they got there. “How do I know if I’m addicted to porn?”, “Does Internet porn cause perversion?”, and “How to stop touching myself because it’s completely ridiculous how much I touch myself, I mean, I don’t know how it hasn’t fallen off yet,” were just a few searches done without his knowledge.

“At first I thought it was just my girlfriend pulling a practical joke on me,” said Cleaves, 27. “I thought she was trying to tell me that I didn’t have sex with her enough, which may be true, but it really has more to do with me getting caught up playing Call of Duty at night instead of following her when she heads to bed and sexing her up than watching Internet porn.”

Things continued to get increasingly creepy as bookmarks leading to porn websites on Cleaves’ computer started to be renamed from “Cumpunks.com” to “Really, Eric, You Should Be Ashamed of Yourself,” and “HotSlutFever.net” to “Why do you insist on making me so sad?”

Cleaves says that the files he saved on his computer’s hard drive to return to later began becoming mysteriously renamed as well. “I was looking for that one with the twins getting gangbanged, and found out that everything in the folder had been relabeled to ‘You Can Make Me Cry I Dont Mind, But Why Make Jesus Cry As Well.wmv”.

Even Cleaves’ girlfriend, Veronica, wasn’t left out of these increasingly bizarre occurrences.

“Like, Eric kept blaming me for relabeling his porn,” said Privette, “but I kept being like, whatever dude, why would I bother changing the names to every single one of your files? And there’s like a million of them, like I don’t have better things to do, duh.”

“But then all my erotic stories got relabeled to ‘Eric Your Girlfriend is a Lesbo You Need to Ditch Her and Get a Real Girlfriend’,” she said. “And I was like, what. Eric knows I’m not a dyke, like, I’m bi-curious a little, like if I’ve been drinking maybe one or two Coronas or after watching The L Word or whatever, so I knew it wasn’t just Eric trying to get even for me for what he thought was me messing with his crap. That’s when I knew something weird was definitely going on.”

All of this culminated in one of the most out-and-out distinct hauntings ever recorded by paranormal specialists.

Eric Cleaves explains coming home from work and finding that “All my porno magazines were spread out all over my house, some of them open, some of them closed. I don’t even know where they’d been all these years, there were in the closet someplace for about the past 10 years, and all of them, all of them had the pictures of naked women replaced by pictures of women in the 50’s wearing, like, those one pieces they used to wear before the bikini was invented? With the frills around the edges, and they had polka dots and things like that? It reminded me of these pictures my mom showed me of her vacation when she was 10, and I distinctly remember her saying that this was what a pretty lady should look like. That’s when it all clicked.”

Cleaves and his girlfriend stated that after realizing that his mother was indeed haunting them they considered moving from the home his mother died in, but haven’t because “Moving is such a pain in the ass, and even though my mom’s annoying, at least she’s not here in the flesh to nag me. I can just rename porn files she’s tampered with, but her telling a grown man that he needs to wash the trash cans in person was so much more unbearable.”

Eric has said that his mother has gotten over his porn collection and has continued to haunt the house by refusing to clean up after them, or to cook dinners, “even on days where both Veronica and I work late and don’t have energy to prepare anything.”
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with love from CRS @ 3:09 PM 

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