CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

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What Porno Would Be Like If It Came Directly From My Fantasies

Sunday, March 20, 2011

this entry brought to you by marilyn manson, "this is the new shit"


Three high-school aged boys are hanging out in front of a mall, drinking sodas and talking about girls, when the sexiest, Christina Hendricks-looking redhead approaches them. She is wearing a low-cut top with her copious boobs spilling out. Oh, and she's not wearing panties, you can totally tell.


In the universe where all porno comes from my fantasies, 70% of all porn actress look like Christina Hendricks.


LADY: Hi boys. How are you doing today?

BOY 1: Uh, ahem, hello ma'am, what can we do to you-- I mean, er, for you today?

LADY: Oh, we'll see. I'm a teacher from a high school across the city, and I want to know how boys from other high schools do when being, hm, taught lessons.

BOY 2: How in the world are you a teacher from across the city? You don't look nearly old enough to be a teacher!

LADY: I'm 25! That's old enough to have a degree in teaching. And besides, what am I supposed to look like, some sad, desperate MILF wearing too much make-up and fake boobs?

BOY 1: Well, no, frankly, I don't understand the appeal to that. I mean, sure, there are ladies that are a little older that are plenty hot, but MILFs and cougars and whatever else being an actual thing is kind of weird. No, 25 year old hottie teachers are much more attractive than some sad MILF.

BOY 2: Okay, I get that you're a super hot teacher who drove all the way over here to teach lessons to high-school aged boys, but do you even mean by "teaching us lessons"?

LADY: Oh, you'll see. How old are you?

BOY 1: 18.

BOY 2: 18.

BOY 3: 17.

LADY (to BOY 3): While it is legal in this state for an adult to teach the lessons I'm planning on teaching to a 17 year old, I find it morally objectionable, so you'll have to leave.

BOY 3: Ah, sucks to your sexiness, lady! (Leaves)

BOY: Whatever is it that you'll be teaching us? Should we, uh, be needing condoms?

LADY: Oh no, there will be no need for condoms.

BOY 1: Then how will you protect yourself from getting pregnant? I don't want to be the father of some strange slutty teacher's babies.

LADY: Oh, one of the lessons I'll be teaching you is how the pill works, if you catch my drift.

BOY 2: But what about STDs?

LADY: Come on, now, let's not complicate this too much. Nobody's going to get pregnant, that's enough precautions to take for this particular porno.

BOY 2: Very good point. I cannot wait to put my seed inside/outside of your body.

BOY 1: One more thing that I don't understand. If you're a hot teacher wanting to fuck 18 year old boys, why don't you do it at your own school?

LADY: Do you want me to get fired? No, I want to fuck hot young men without getting pregnant and not actually thinking about the spread of STDs because that complicates things so much that it makes this unenjoyable, but I'm not going to get fucking fired for it.

BOY 1: And we wouldn't want you to get fired! In this economy, and with the Republicans in power, they're going out of their way to strike out at teacher's unions and weaken your ability to keep a job! But really, what else should America expect from Republicans? They don't make their heinous ideas much of a secret, so when they get into power and do the very things they have been promising, why should America be so surprised? This is what happens when you put Republicans in charge of things!

LADY: Oh my god, I couldn't have said it better. Now, let me suck on that deliciously young but still legal cock.

BOY 1: Please do!
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with love from CRS @ 9:43 PM 

1 Comments:

That which one least anticipates soonest comes to pass.

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