CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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Shorts Dudes Who Always, Somehow, Win in a Fight

Friday, March 04, 2011

this entry brought to you by radiohead, "airbag"


I don't know if you've ever met a short man, but they're always extremely eager to tell you that while they might not seem like much, they can do some real damage in fights. They might not be big, but they're crazy! They don't fuck around!

I'm not saying this has never happened ever, in fact, yes, I'm sure you have a short friend who you saw totally flatten a guy twice his size. I will also say that the person who he knocked out was also probably drunk, and tripping over his own feet would have also knocked him out cold. But sure. It probably happens occasionally.

But still, I call bullshit. I think there's a reason you never see really short bouncers when you go out to the club. There are no 5'4" body guards. There's no company that hires bodyguards or bouncers that will look at the application of a guy under 5'5" and say, "Yes, but are you scrappy? Here at Personal Security Professionals we're don't care much about physical size, so long as you've got a story where you once took out a drunk guy twice your size. Do you live by the credo 'The bigger they are, the harder they fall'? Because we're looking for people with that philosophy here for our business of personal protection."

And yes, of course, you probably also know a guy who has taken out someone twice his size who wasn't drunk. And you also know for a fact that this guy is a fucking psychopath. But the thing is, tall people can be psychopaths too! And if a tall psychopath gets into a fight with a short, scrappy psychopath, my money is on the bigger one.
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with love from CRS @ 10:52 AM 

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