CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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Predicting Baby Genders is Not an Exact Science

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

this entry brought to you by sex bob-omb, "garbage truck"


If you've never had children, one thing you'll be surprised about when you or your girlfriend/wife gets pregnant is how persistent idiotic old wives' tales are. It does not matter at all what she complains about, somebody will decide then and there that it means that the baby will be whatever gender they had when they had those particular symptoms. It does not matter at all.

"Head itchy and feeling sleepy? Oh, it's going to be a boy."

And you try to laugh it off and tell them that they're being silly, but they come back at you with this tone of voice that says "Laugh all you want, but I'm going to be right," as if they're cursed with this ability to predetermine baby's gender and there's nothing they can do about it because no one will ever listen to them. And by the way, I don't just mean your parents-in-law, who have a preternatural ability of sticking their noses up in your baby business, I mean fucking strangers.

But the worst part about this is that there's a fifty-fifty chance of getting it right! It's not like there are one in eight chances of it being something. So no matter how much you tell them the truth, that their bullshit is bullshit, they still have exactly as much chance as being right in the end as wrong, and they'll take that as another notch on their baby-predicting belt. When the baby comes out the way they somehow, remarkably, are right, you want to say, "Wow, how did you do that? What are you, about 53% right at predicting football game outcomes as well? Call my bookie."

If they really want to impress, they should say "Up at 3 in the morning throwing up? Oh, well it'll be a boy and he'll get straight A's all the way up until the 8th grade when he will inexplicably trail off, will drop out of college in his freshman year, and will be a disappointment to you. Also, he'll be gay. Laugh all you want, but I'm always right about these things."
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with love from CRS @ 7:02 AM 

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