CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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Friday, December 03, 2010

this entry brought to you by the hives, "tick tick boom"





For those of you below the age of 20, you should know that the thong pantie is a relatively new phenomenon, and didn't start showing up in the ass cracks of every chick you know until the late 90's. Before then, and anyone born before 1990 will tell you this, "thongs" meant "flip-flops". You'd be a little kid and heading out to the swimming pool with your parents and they might say "Sweetie, don't worry if you can't find your thongs, you can just run out there without them," which nowadays is a sentence that can get your parents arrested.

But the important part is that there was a weird introductory period where people would use the word before everyone understood what it meant in its new found definition. You might read that Sisqo had this huge summer hit called "Thong Song", and if you hadn't heard the song yourself, you would assume it was a song about a fun day at the beach with your friends drinking Capri Sun and playing Frisbee. And, having gone the last 10 years without ever hearing it, I can't tell you definitively that it's not about that.

But hearing that there was a song about foot safety at the beach-- you should really wear something on your feet when you go instead of running around barefoot, because you never know what you might step on, a rock, a jellyfish, a hypodermic needle-- wasn't really that unusual. In this weird in-between period in the late 1990s the conversations you had were confusing.

"I was with my girlfriend at Target and we walked by a whole display of thongs and I was like, you know, trying to subtly suggest she buy one," your friend would sheepishly tell you.

Man, these must have been some pretty killer flip-flops, you'd think. Most that I see are like 3 bucks, these must've cost twenty if your friend would have to suggest his girlfriend buy them instead of just buying them for her.

"Yo man, have you seen the new chick at the front desk?" a co-worker would say, "Man, she has got a huge rack! And she was wearing a thong-- hot damn!"

Alright, this guy clearly has a foot fetish, you'd think. Not necessarily my thing, and I don't know exactly why he'd share that, but whatever, it's harmless.

"I was in this girl's bedroom when she was in the bathroom," a guy would say. "And I couldn't help it-- there was a thong on the floor, and I picked it up and smelled it."

Turns out that guy was a different kind of pervert than you had originally anticipated. Although, all things considered, somebody you wouldn't want babysitting your children either way, so I guess the definition of "thong" really didn't matter in that particular example.
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with love from CRS @ 5:37 PM 

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