CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

ARCHIVES!
Petty One-Up-Manship, But Satisfying

Thursday, December 23, 2010

this entry brought to you by nick cave and the bad seeds, "red right hand"


I've told this story to multiple people, and some have said it's petty. I think it is funny. And yes, a little petty, but I don't care.

I was browsing through Facebook-- which, by the way, I do not recommend-- and I came across somebody I absolutely hated in high school. His name is Randy. He was a jock douche who was entirely full of himself, a spoiled rich kid who liked to beat up people lower than himself on the totem pole.

Curiosity got the best of me and I clicked on him, to find that he has his own business which, by all appearances, is pretty successful. And he has a beautiful wife.

For a moment I was jealous, but then I thought, I really don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be the person who lets other people's successes eat away at him. For one thing, he went to college and I didn't, so he put the hard work down, and he deserves to be rewarded for it. And besides, self-owned businesses are hard work, often require long and erratic hours, and anyone with their own business will tell you that some months you're doing fantastic, and other months you're scraping by, so even though his business appears to be successful, I can pretty much tell how much money I'm going to make in a week at my shitty grocery job and he might not necessarily. So you know what? Good for him. And I legitimately mean that. If he had gone to business school and graduated and instantly became management at some bank, I'd say fuck him, because fuck those people, but who am I to begrudge someone who owns his own small business? As long as his self owned business isn't revenge raping people, I think it can't be anything but a good thing.

I clicked on his wife's Facebook and was immediately taken to their wedding album. She was really pretty-- not my type at all, exactly the kind of girl you would expect to marry an ex high school football player, but pretty.

Underneath a wedding photo Randy had commented something guy-centric but completely innocuous, something like "I'm glad this turned out so well, because I had nothing to do with any of it, lol."

Have you ever looked through the people on your friendslist, and seen people having a fight, right there in public, as if nobody else is reading it?

She responded, "Why are you making fun of our wedding?"

A friend of his responded "Uh-oh dude! Now you're in the dog house!"

He responded, "Honey, you know I'm just kidding, lol."

She responded back, "Whatever."

This was not all fun and games. There were no smiley faces or lols or "j/k"s or anything indicating she wasn't being serious in her posts.

Now, first of all, if I were going to joke around on my wife's Facebook page, I would have been much, much more cruel. "The one hour I expect you to not be barefoot and in the kitchen, woman!" I might have said. Or maybe "Damn, that ass looks fine."

But the point is, Michelle wouldn't have been offended. She would have responded with something like "You said you wouldn't beat me in public."

And if she was actually offended at it, she would have just turned around and said to me, "Hey, what's up with you insulting me on my Facebook?"

Guess what, Randy? You have a better job and a prettier wife than me. But I still win! Petty? Sure. Satisfying? You betcha!
------



with love from CRS @ 9:57 AM 

0 Comments:

Post a Comment