CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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"Wait a second. What's your sign?"

Thursday, April 15, 2010

this entry brought to you by nirvana, "radio friendly unit shifter"


I was having a conversation with a person I had just met the other day. I could tell the conversation wasn't going super-duper well, we weren't exactly hitting it off the way you just sometimes do with people, but things were going cordially. And all of the sudden, right in the middle of the conversation, she stopped and, as if interrupting herself with a more urgent thought, asked "Wait a second. What's your sign?"

I was totally thrown and couldn't even think of an answer.

"What the hell does that mean?" I finally asked in as friendly and non-confrontational way as possible.

Nothing, she said. She just wanted to know what my sign is.

Now here's the thing. When someone asks you what your sign is in the middle of a conversation, it means one of two things. It could mean that the conversation you're having is so going so well, that you're so immediately captivating, that the only way to explain it is kismet. The stars aligned and brought you through your life, and it was all leading up to now, this moment, and the chemistry you have was inevitable.

Or it could mean that ordinarily, a person gets along with people, and yet they find you so immediately repulsive and difficult to get along with, and the more they try the more they are proven that their initial suspicion was right, that it must be that the stars themselves aligned the day you were born to make you such an asshole. It's not your fault, after all, it's your sign that makes you this way.

And the thing is, while I certainly didn't think it was the former, I had no idea that it was anywhere near the latter! I was completely thrown for a loop. You mean this conversation we were having has been going that badly?

"I'm an Aquarius," I finally answered, which met with uproarious laughter, and when I asked what was so funny she dismissed it saying "Don't worry about it."

There was nothing, I said, that I could have answered that would have made her stop and say "Huh. Wow. I didn't see that coming. Hm." And I think that was totally true. If I'd have answered another way it would have been "Oh that's a fire sign, and fire signs are that way," or if I'd have answered another way she would have asked my exact birth date and she would've said "Oh, but it's on this cusp" or whatever. She'd already made up her mind, which is exactly the problem with astrology.

Well, the real problem with astrology is that it's total bullshit. But whatever.

My wife leaned over to me and whispered "You're going to totally obsess about this all night." And it's, uh, been several days and I've just finished typing all that, so yeah, she knows me well.
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As a side note, we were at a sushi bar, and she offered me sushi throughout the night in a very friendly way, so I'm not trying to make her out to be this horrible bitch, she was actually very friendly-- again, I had no idea our conversation was going so badly-- but after having taken two or three of hers without offering anything of mine because I'd already eaten everything, when she offered some of her last dish I politely said no thank you. But at the end of the night she was putting things away into a take-home package and I thought, well, maybe I will try something. I asked and she said "Of course!"

Now, the box was at the edge of the table, but I want to point out that I looked at it and saw that all four edges were on the table, so I thought it would be fine. I picked up one and then the box immediately hurled itself onto the floor, and I had absolutely no idea how.

I looked down at the mess I'd just made. "Oh by the way, I'm an Aquarius. Did I mention that?"
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with love from CRS @ 6:09 PM 

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