CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

ARCHIVES!
HOOTERS WAITRESS NOT HOT ENOUGH TO BE STRIPPER BUT STILL WANTS TO BE GROPED BY OLD PERVERTS FOR TIPS

Sunday, October 04, 2009

this entry brought to you by the national, "lit up"





Hi! My name is Destiny, and I'll be your waitress tonight at Hooters!

Yes, that really is my name! Destiny Williams, born right here in the great town of Pittsburgh! Go Steelers!

Now, let's see, what can I start you off with?

Oh, tee-hee, not those, you big silly! No, I meant perhaps a drink?

Oh, tee-hee, you can't get something to drink from those, silly! I meant maybe more on the lines of maybe a beer for yourself and maybe some soda for your darling boy there?

A Bud, eh? There's a real man's drink right there! I sure love a man who drinks Bud! Tee-hee! And for your son there?

I'm sorry, sweetie, I'd love to go back there and pour you a cold frosty one but you can't have that when you're below the age of 21!

Well I'm sorry, but you wouldn't want little ol' me to go to jail, do you?

...Mmhmm. Right. I'm just going to put you down for a Coke, how's that? And what will we be having for appetizers?

Yes, that's very charming. Sir, your son is just a hoot and a holler, let me tell you, but I've got other tables to get to so from now on I'm just going to talk directly to you, how's that? Will we be having appetizers, sir?

Oh that's just adorable, you and your son have the same sense of humor, how cute, I'll just mark you down for an order of our hot wings, how's that? Yep. Everybody loves our hot wings.

No sir, that's not appropriate. I'll just go take this order back and I'll come when you're ready to order your meals, how's that?

Oh sir, I sure appreciate that bit of gratitude, but did you not read the sign?

No, that sign right there, the one right above the entrance when you come in. It says "Do not put your hands on the waitresses."

Yes, oh, I think it's fantastic that you'd like to show some appreciation, but my butt is not the place you should put your hand to show it. If you really appreciate me, perhaps you could leave a tip!

That's very charming, yes, how funny that you would say that. Okay, I'm just going to go take your order back.

Yes, I'm glad you would like to see my breasts, sweetie, but as your father I'm sure has told you, it's not polite to call them "tits", or, for that matter, to refer to them at all out loud in a public establishment. I'm sure he just forgot to mention, but there's a sign right next to the "no groping" sign that says "Please do not talk to the waitresses about their body". Now let me just get that order back so you can start eating your food as quickly as possible, how's that?

Again sir, I'm glad you enjoy my company, but it is very inappropriate to touch my butt in that fashion. Now let's see what I can do about getting you your hot wings!

Okay, sir, that's very sweet of you, but it's generally the regulation of this establishment to leave the tip after the meal is finished, and also not in the shorts of the waitress. So if you could just take that back and wait until the appropriate time and place--

Wait, I'm sorry, sir, I hadn't noticed it was a twenty! Oh aren't you just the sweetest thing? Where are my manners? You go ahead and stick that right back in my shorts! Thank you honey-pie, I'll go get your buffalo wings ordered. If y'all promise to leave another generous tip after your meal, you can be sure you can put your hands anywhere you damn please! Thanks a bunch for coming to Hooters! Hope y'all enjoy your stay!
--------



with love from CRS @ 8:05 AM 

0 Comments:

Post a Comment