CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

ARCHIVES!
FUN WITH CAPTIONS 2

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

this entry brought to you by rage against the machine, "tire me"

why two of these in a row? because i haven't done any funny captions in like five years, and i have had so much fun of them i wrote like 30 of them all at once, so even after this one i still have an entire funny captions entry banked. so you're getting them again basically because they're just too much fun.



Wiggles was beginning to wonder if this was abuse, but she'd threatened to kill his squeezee toy if he talked to anyone. Why couldn't his owners come home now? God, what a horrible, long night this was going to be. Better to prepare going to his happy place now than when it was too late.



After six or seven refills, this glass starts to look real pretty. Also, it nags you a lot less. Am I right, men?



This is why the house never liked to bamf to places it couldn't see: it ended up in a place where it could get crushed, just like it always feared. And boy, did Storm ever feel like shit for giving him that pep talk that he could do anything if he just believed in himself.



The one in the back has tassles on his nipples. See you in your nightmares.



She'd scratched him on the face in the tussle a moment ago when an argument broke out over who was a better team. He pretended not to care, to go back to watching the game, but he loved her. He loved a woman who knew how to dress herself, knew her football, and knew how to be feisty. He turned his eyes to the field, feigning attention at the goings on, but he was deep in thought, planning a way to get her separated from the half-chicken, half dork she'd come in with. As God was his witness, she would be his.



"Daddy, why is that man that way?"

"Because he's a jackass, son. Don't make eye contact with him. I don't want you to catch it."



Aqua Man is the lamest member of the Justice League, hands down. Yet his episode of Cribs was pretty damn good. For a lame superhero, anyway.



After feeding the alpha walrus first, you should humiliate the subordinate walruses before feeding them. It's good for their society.



And yet they still cost 40 dollars. Why are we paying so much money for fake shoes?


"Helen, I'm telling you, that Tripper faggot that lives downstairs is up to no good! Look at him running around with those two roommates of his, that dumb idiot Chrissy and that dyke Janet! He's swishing around like he owns the place, tripping over stuff and running into things! I tells ya, he's up to something! Something probably faggoty!"

"Oh Ralph, give it a rest and come over here and screw me, will ya!"
-------



with love from CRS @ 7:43 AM 

0 Comments:

Post a Comment