CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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Tuesday, October 13, 2009

this entry brought to you by queens of the stone age, "run pig run"



"Argh, the boy behind us be laughing at us, matey. You know what you have to do now, don't you? Burn him! BURN THEM ALL!"



"Are you sure you want me to install a mirror on her butt, man? I mean, I can get it done right now if you really want, but what if seeing your own 'O' face ruins the whole experience?"

"You've got the hammers, I've got the looks and the gigantic buldge in my shorts. There's no way this can go wrong. Start nailing that mirror in."



Some said breeding Springy Pit Bulls was an abomination to Jesus our Lord and Savior and all that is holy in the world. They were right. Cute, though.



"HULK MAKE FOUND ART. APPRECIATE HULK ARTISTIC EXPRESSION."

"Yes Hulk, yes, it's very beautiful. Please don't smash me."



EXECUTIVE 1: So I had this dream last night of four dudes in a sauna made out of Heineken boxes, and they're all drinking Heinken. I woke up shouting 'I've got it!' The homosexual thing has never been hotter, and we need to jump on it. New line of beer from our company, except we don't have to change the formula at all. We just add a word and a colon to it. Picture this. HEINEKEN: GAY. I know. I'm a genius, right?

EXECUTIVE 2: You know that's exactly the same as an old SNL skit, right? Except they called it Schmitt Gay. You just replaced the word "Schmitt" with our company name, and added a colon.

EXECUTIVE 1: The important part is that I'm the one that makes the decisions, and I've got a boner.



How would you like it if I had sex with a chick right when you're trying to take a picture? Of course you wouldn't like it. Yet when dogs do it it's adorable. I don't get dog people.



Jill and Bobby were so aroused after cleaning the flesh off the skull of their first victim together that they couldn't help fooling around. After all, it's not every day you meet someone who is into the same things you're into.



"My mom did a shitload of LSD when she was pregnant. I don't even know where the fuck I really am right now."



Sometimes, on quiet weekday mornings when not too many people were there, Darla would go out to the beach, taking romantic pictures of her shoes. This was a masculine pair of shoes, a loving pair of shoes, a pair of shoes that could protect her from harm. This pair of shoes would never leave her. Not like all the others.



"You know dad... You could just throw that in the back of the truck and drive it home..."

"No, the last time I did that the truck smelled like your mother's vagina for weeks."

HEY-OOOOOO!!
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with love from CRS @ 10:55 AM 

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