CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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A PARANOID, DELUSIONAL WOMAN WORRIED GOD IS ALWAYS SPYING ON HER

Sunday, September 06, 2009

this entry brought to you by marilyn manson, "mutilation is the most sincere form of flattery"


Local 23 year old woman Katey Seeber has been worrying friends and coworkers that she might be going crazy, after repeatedly complaining God is always watching her.

"We were talking about where to go to lunch," says coworker Nita Hilker, "when she all of the sudden said that it didn't matter where we ate, God was always there, just out of sight, waiting for his next move."

Good friend Jamie Ruddy has reported that every time a helicopter flies overhead, "Katey swears that they are piloted by agents of the Lord trying to scare her into rejoicing and singing to the heavens. It's really creepy."

Seeber's parents, Allison and Ted Seeber, have said that, when she was younger, Katey was on medication for her condition which seemed to work wonders, but after she started dating her new boyfriend and devout Christian Clinton Selders, she must have started skipping doses.

"She was real bad about these paranoid delusions that God was all seeing and had planned out her entire life, down to the smallest details, when she was a fourteen," said Mr. Seeber. "But we put her on a steady dose of reading the Scientific Journal, Omni, Science Today, and Wired magazine, and she'd gone years knowing that there was no such thing, that all of this was in her head."

"With this new boyfriend," he continued, "she's been getting pressure that she doesn't need her medication, that we, her parents, were just convinced by teachers and scientists that she needs facts to survive, that we were too eager to let our daughter be suppressed by the science lobby. I'm afraid if she doesn't get help soon, we'll lose her forever."

"Just this morning," commented roommate Margerie Cuadra, "she was crying, saying that the voices in her head were telling her to stand outside of a Planned Parenthood holding a cardboard sign, and I was like, whoa. This isn't just her making crosses with her hands whenever she says something that frightens her in fear that it might actually happen, or being on her knees at the foot of her bed, pleading with an invisible person not to kill her in her sleep. This is some scary stuff. Next thing you know she might be babbling about having to mutilate the penises of newborn babies or something."
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with love from CRS @ 7:11 AM 

1 Comments:

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