CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

ARCHIVES!
You Fucking Hated Your Sibling, Stop Denying It

Thursday, August 06, 2009

this entry brought to you by silversun pickups, "catch and release"


I'm having another daughter and she's due on December 21st. By then my first daughter Celest will be seven years old. I cannot tell you how happy I am that my two daughters are seven years apart. The idea of having a toddler still in diapers blindly grabbing things off of a counter that she isn't quite tall enough to see, curious as to exactly what the light sockets are, constantly harassing the cat, trying to put every single thing possible to get her hands on in her mouth while there is a newborn in the house sounds like about the dumbest fucking thing you could possibly do.

But most parents actually want them back to back. "It's not good to have them so far apart," they say. "You should have had them as close together as possible." What, are you fucking stupid? I like the idea that I can take a shit without having to worry about two small creatures, completely helpless to the outside world, while one of them is actively trying to hurt itself. As it is my oldest daughter is basically autonomous, and can do everything she requires to survive and entertain herself without my constant attention besides make herself dinner. I like the idea of a child off to school 6 hours a day while I take a nap when the baby naps, and when she is home, I like the idea of her keeping an eye on the baby for a few minutes, for example, while I go take a shower. I do not like the idea of hearing a scream from the baby, come bursting out of the bathroom, shit still in my butt crack unwiped to see what the matter is, to find out that not only has the baby lost hold of her bottle and is crying because it's rolled too far for her to reach, but the older one has shoved a sandwich in the DVD player.

I think people want to have their kids close together because they have this fantasy that they'll be best friends. "I got along great with my brothers and sisters," they say. "We were best friends."




No you fucking weren't. You are close now because you don't have to see one another all day. But when you were kids you fucking hated one another. You fought constantly, you constantly blamed the others for things you did, you constantly complained to mom that the other was ruining everything, you constantly beat them up, stole their shit, broke their shit, had your shit stolen and broken. I never had any siblings, but when I went over to all my friends' houses and they'd just spend the whole time fighting with their sibling-- and I don't just mean bickering, because even best friends bicker, I mean fighting-- it never made me think "Ah gee, I sure wish I had a brother or sister to sit on me and fart in my face then break my Nintendo."

Unless of course it just so happens that the people I knew as a kid that had siblings were the only kids on the planet that were so horrible to one another, quit acting like you and your siblings were the fucking Get Along Gang with one another.
------



with love from CRS @ 5:44 PM 

0 Comments:

Post a Comment