CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
Profile continued . . .

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A WORD FROM REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN OF MONTANA TED NISWANDER

Sunday, August 09, 2009

this entry brought to you by modest mouse, "i've got it all (most)"





I grew up in a small fishing town in Montana. A town like many other American towns, a town just like the one you probably grew up in. And when I decided to run for Congress in 2006, everywhere I went, places that you would recognize even if you hadn't been there, people just like you would come up and remind me: although you might eventually make it to Washington-- and I did-- never forget the things that really matter.

Health care, a hot button topic right now, is an important issue. One of the most important, in fact. We, as Americans, and indeed, humans, need to make sure that when we get sick of our diseases which, if left unchecked, can easily destroy our fragile bodies, there won't be any blockades in place to stop us from getting better. People of all shapes and sizes find health care to be one of the most important factors. I know I certainly find it important. Just like you, I'm a person with needs and cares, and as a person just like you, I am passionate about this subject.

...But that's not really what I want to talk about today. What I need to talk about is perhaps a subject that doesn't seem, on its face, perhaps as important as some other issues, like the economy, or joblessness amongst the people of America, but it is vitally important.

...I'm talking, of course, about violent video games.

Now, I know what you're saying to yourself. You're saying, Congressman, violent video games are just fantasy. But are they really? Violent video games only lead to real-life murder of aliens. Take this mega blockbuster video game "Halo". In Halo, the player is taught to repeatedly shoot aliens from outer space in the head, and kill them to their violent and sad, sad death. Is the player taught that perhaps these monsters from space might have feelings, might have motivations, families? Of course not. Human children are hapless against the message that the video game makers are forcing into their brains with these "Alien Murder Simulators": To shoot aliens on sight, and to make their deaths as violent and as satisfying as possible.


 A screenshot of the Alien Murder Simulator, Halo. They don't just teach gun combat in these video games-- they teach hand-to-hand combat as well, in order to more thoroughly educate the brains of human youth for alien murder.


Human children, with their small, delicate, easily manipulated, delicious minds-- and when I say delicious, I of course mean deliciously full of potential-- are taught that there is pleasure to be had in the wholesale slaughter of invading alien life forms in these video games such as Gears of War. Are they taught that, in the potential case of hostile life forms waging war on the human populace, that they should take a pacifistic route, lay down arms, and embrace their alien overlords, the way a responsible human would want them to behave if he didn't want to die, which of course no human such as myself would want? Of course not. They're taught to wantonly and irresponsibly saw them in half with chainsaws. And further, they're not just taught to shoot something like deer or rabbits, puny, idiot creatures incapable of fighting back, they are instead taught strategy and tactics through an "artificial intelligence" in order to better simulate fighting a real sentient being!

And what if, one day, aliens do come from the outer stars? And what if these aliens actually have the formula for immortality? And sure, these aliens might only plan on giving the formula for immortality to the fleshy, vile human monsters such as you and me only so that their enslavement lasts for eternity as they build bigger and bigger effigies to their benevolent alien gods until the planet has lost all of its resources and they are doomed to wander the earth, going insane from lack of food or shelter but unable to die-- sure, these aliens might plan on doing that, but they also will grant humans the formula for immortality! But if our planet keeps training human children to fight back against marauding alien oppression, then they might go their entire lives not knowing what it's like to be blessed with the honors of building striking and giant homages to creatures far superior to them.

In conclusion, enough is enough. We can't let these video game designers ruin an entire generation of human brains perfectly capable of someday carrying stones on their back with the downright shameful production of video games that are good for absolutely no civic good. Absolutely nothing can come of resisting aliens, should they arrive. Human children should learn that now.
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with love from CRS @ 7:14 PM 

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