CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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LOCAL WAL-MART FORCED TO CLOSE FROM COMPETITION WITH EVEN LARGER WAL-MART

Friday, July 24, 2009

this entry brought to you by pj harvey, "to bring you my love"


OKLAHOMA CITY-- Wal-Mart store #1284, located at Apache St. and Southern Ave, has announced that it will be having a clearance sale starting this coming Monday. It will close its doors for business on the last day of the month, due to its inability to keep up with competition from Wal-Mart store #1705, located three miles away.

"It's one of those Ultra Wal-Mart Megastores that takes up four-fifths of an entire city block," said Debra Jo Mestayer, store manager. "We're only a Deluxe Wal-Mart Supercenter, so we take up about half of a small strip mall. We just can't compete."

Ultra Wal-Mart Megastore store manager Mathew Nerney has little sympathy for the stores that can't keep up. "In this economy, people don't just want the low, low prices and comprehensive variety of items that a Deluxe Wal-Mart Supercenter can offer them. They want aisles twenty feet wide. They want to know that if they needed to, they could collapse in the aisle and people would still be able to get around them and not bump into them. They want an entire fifty foot wall dedicated to just the original flavor of Doritos corn chips, and another fifty feet dedicated to the other varieties, such as Cool Ranch and Bar-B-Q XXTreme Surprise. They want a toy department so encompassing they can leave their shitty kids alone for hours there unsupervised, knowing that there's no way their children could get bored, and therefore allowing them to relieve themselves of their parenting duty with that much less guilt.

"They want fifteen available Electric Skooty Karts for the handicapped and the morbidly obese to very slowly move from one side of the store to the other," continued Nerney. "Is it our fault that the other Wal-Mart only has eight? We have a lot of morbidly obese shoppers here at Wal-Mart, and if it means driving the extra three miles to make sure they can get their sweaty little hands on an available Electric Skooty Kart, they'll do it."

"It just isn't fair," said Deluxe Wal-Mart store manager Debra Jo Mestayer. "These Ultra Wal-Mart Megastores just move in to town with no regard to the local population or the economy, and just swallow up or kill all the little guys like us. I've worked for nine different Wal-Marts for the past thirteen years, I've worked moderately hard and given somewhat of a crap for this company. But it doesn't matter. Even if you work a passable amount, after all your trying to do the minimum amount of effort to legitimize your salary, someone else just comes up and cold-heartedly takes it all away from you."

Mestayer isn't just upset at Ultra Wal-Mart muscling in and bullying the smaller, less financially backed Wal-Marts, but also at the growing trend of consumers moving on from smaller, slightly less apathetic Wal-Marts to larger, even less caring Wal-Marts for the sake of convenience. "Consumers just don't have loyalty to whichever Wal-Mart happens to be closest to them at the time they move in to their homes anymore. They'll ditch you the moment there's one even closer. It makes you wonder what the future of America's Wal-Mart landscape will look like," she said.

When asked where her 300 employees would find jobs despite having no real applicable skills, Mestayer replied that they'd already found jobs at the Ultra Wal-Mart Megastore, only somehow with less pay and benefits than they were getting before.
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with love from CRS @ 8:03 AM 

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