CRS
Chandler, Arizona, United States

There's an old saying. If you don't want someone to join a crowd, you ask them, "If everyone were jumping off of a cliff, would you?" Well, I have. So my answer would be "Yes". True story.
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Lies You Can Get Away With

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

this entry brought to you by nine inch nails, "only"


The following are good, solid lies. They are solid because they can't be easily confirmed or denied by Google, and some, most importantly, are interesting enough for the recipient to remember and pass on to his friends, but not big enough to immediately dismiss. These are the best kinds of lies.


Clint Eastwood is a huge cat lover. In fact, he owns seven cats, each named after a different dwarf from Snow White. The cats' personalities do not match their names, however.

The Bravo cable network aired two episodes of a reality dating show for men with micropenises before it got canceled.

You used to have webbed toes but you got that surgery to remove it. Every now and again, though, you still get that "phantom webbing" pain.

John Kerry has been openly gay since 2007, though he still remains happily married to his wife.

One of your great grandparents was a dwarf. Your girlfriend doesn't want to have children with you now because she's afraid of the small but very real chance of one of your children turning out as one.

Drinking chicken noodle soup temporarily eases the symptoms of restless leg syndrome. Doctors are not sure why.

That rapping French toddler from the early 90s went on to move to America, and is now one of our ambassadors to China.

You didn't know The Blair Witch Project was fake up until about a year ago.

The Pregnant Man briefly worked at Hooters before undergoing the hormone therapy to become a man.

The American Science Journal published a study that showed wearing a three piece business suit for no more than three hours a day actually increases your sperm count.

That Australian guy from the 80s who starred in those Energizer commercials, Jacko, lives a couple miles from you now. You often see him shopping at your local grocery store.

You got backstage passes to the state fair and met Smash Mouth. The drummer has taken a vow of silence since 2006 until the troops are back home.

Your mother has photographs of her successfully flipping off three different ex-presidents.

You had a gay experience with the bass player of a band you refuse to name, and you completely regret it for reasons you won't explain.

Three cast members have died over the course of The Bachelor, but with clever editing, you can't tell which ones.

New cadets in the army are often hazed by being forced into a small room and not allowed to leave until they've beaten Minesweeper four times in a row. They do this to get around existing anti-hazing rules.

7% of the population is completely immune to anthrax, but the government covers it up in fear that, in case of a terrorist attack involving anthrax, some people would continue to go about their lives normally, figuring there's a good enough chance they'd survive.

Your mom got out of a DWI because her water broke while the officer was giving her a ticket. You were born fourteen hours later.

Human flesh from the average American still has less calories than an equivalent cut of beef.

A team of North Korean scientists are researching the cure for death, and claim they're less than four years away from a breakthrough.
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with love from CRS @ 10:15 AM 

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